#you could argue it makes it so i dont have to bother with idiots but this is too far... we're literally related man cmon

[faerociousbeast]

even my own cousins who are older and SO much taller than me found me intimidating apparently. what am i supposed to do in this world

[vscabarca]

immediate regret - pablo gavi

summary: gavi and you fought after a game, so you made him leave your apartment.

genre: angst, fluff

warnings: swearing

———

„Can't you just shut the fuck up for once and not be so annoying? Bother someone else." Gavi yelled through the apartment, making your body flinch at his words.

„i'm just trying to help you!" You spoke in a distressed voice.

„i don't fucking need your help." He was still angry, yelling around the room without even looking at his girlfriend, throwing his hands into the air.

„Why does everything have to be a struggle with you?" You asked him in disbelief, your voice cracking mid sentence.

Barcelona lost against Real Madrid in el Clásico, the most important game of the season. Additionally to that, Gavi received his fifth yellow card, meaning he'll be suspended for the next game.

You knew how hot-headed he could become after bad games, but this was new. All you've wanted to do is make him feel better, so you tried to talk to him. The two of you had your arguments, yes, but he had never yelled at you before.

Gavi felt immediate regret in seeing you stand there almost in tears. He was quick in approaching you, trying to apologize to his girlfriend.

You backed up, feeling a familiar tightness in your throat as your vision became blurry.

Quietly, but with a firm voice you spoke to him.

„Leave my apartment." It wasn't much what came out, but enough to make Gavi widen his eyes in devastation.

„Pero nena... please, i didn't mean it like that." he argued with pity but you couldn't stand seeing him right now.

„No, i dont wan't you here tonight, not after what you've said." Your voice trembled but you still wanted him gone. Maybe that way you both could cool off a bit.

„Look, i'm sorry" Gavi wanted to embrace you in his arms, but you interrupted him.

„Just leave Gavi, i can't see you right now." Tears were streaming down your face, making it hard to breathe.

He looked at you once more with nothing but regret in his eyes and left your apartment with a huff.

In the car he scolded himself for being so reckless with you, trying to figure out why he said what he said. His temper after games often led to arguments between you two, always bickering about how gavi couldn't control his emotions very well.

You felt like time would do both good. You knew somehow you would fix this mess but didn't want to discuss this in the heat of the moment.

———

Both slept worse than usal the next days, and the guilt ate Gavi up alive. His practice suffered from your fight, his mind was often somewhere else, thinking how to apologize to you.

He spoke to Pedri, getting some helpful advice in return and made his way back to your apartment.

You were currently watching a series to distract yourself from having no contact with Gavi for the last two days.

The knock on your door made your head turn as you did not expect anyone today. You opened the door, revealing Gavi on the other side.

He looked at you with a warm, small smile. In his hands were tulips.

„Can i come in?" Gavi asked carefully, waiting for your answer.

„Yeah come in." You answered, smiling slightly too.

The truth is you missed him very much, you hated fighting with him.

As you got seated, he placed the flowers onto the coffee table.

„you know, buying me flowers won't make me forgive you pablo." You raised your eyebrows at him.

„i know that, but i saw them and still wanted to give you something in addition to my apology." he replied chuckling. „i behaved like an idiot. i should've never screamed at you, you just wanted to help me. You know what a hot-headed kid i can be and I'm very sorry i took my anger out on you amor." he continued, holding your hands in his.

You smiled up at him, realizing he meant it.

„i know it means much to you, but i just want to help you with whatever you're dealing with. You could've just told me to leave you alone and i would've given you some time." you replied sincerely.

„i'm sorry amor. i promise it won't happen again. besides i had the worst two days without you. Am i forgiven?" Gavi asked once more as he scooted closer to you.

„Mhm. i've missed you too." you answered and leaned in for a kiss.

Gavi leaned in too, placing his plump lips on yours.

„i've missed your cuddles." you said as he pulled you down to him and wrapped his strong arms around your waist.

„Then lets watch something and cuddle." Gavi placed a sweet kiss on your head and snuggled closer to you if that was even possible.

[billgetsmewet]

Make-up S€x..

Bill Kaulitz

-MUTUALS WHO FLWD ME FOR FASHION PLS IGNORE THIS OMDS-

warnings : s€x , fighting/arguing, sad start (great end😊)

You were at your apartment, waiting for Bill to come home.

He was always getting home late nowadays, barely paying attention to you, even though you tried to let him know multiple times that you felt neglected.

He told you he would be home by 11pm on the dot, he sweared he wouldnt be late this time.

Wasnt a surprise that it was already 1am and he still wasnt in your sight.

Around 1:54am he barged in, not even saying hello, before dropping his bag and his jacked straight on the floor and going to bed.

He knew this bothered you but he couldnt give less of a shit.

You walked up to him, about to confront him, but he didnt even look at you, you were on the edge of breaking into tears.

You sat down next to him, trying to spit a word out of your mouth without crying.

“Bill..” you mumbled, your voice all quiet and shakey.

No reply.

“Bill!” you said, a bit louder this time.

Still no reply.

“Oh for fucks sake, Bill!” you angered, raising your voice enough for him to finally look at you, but you could tell he was already tired of you talking to him.

“Bill..” you let out another mumble.

“What?” he replied harshly

“Talk to me..” you begged

He didnt even budge, he was too tired to make an effort.

“You said youd be home by 11.. its almost 2am..” you said, waiting for a reply… but he just stared at you.

Finally he sighed, replying.

“I got busy”

Why has he been so cold and ignoring..? you thought to yourself.

“I was worried” you whispered, almost breaking into tears on the spot, you knew he was lying, you knew he was just having fun with his friends.

“You should be used to it by now” he replied coldly, tearing your heart apart.

You couldnt hold it back anymore and you let the tears shed.

He sat up, snapping back to reality.

You walk out of the room, not wanting him to see you cry.

He follows.

You sit down on the couch in the livingroom, curling up.

He sits down next to you.

“L..listen.. i didnt mean to hurt you.. ive been busy.” he stuttered.

“Bill, i know youve just been out with your friends, i know damn fucking well youre not busy!” you cried.

“Ive been worrying my ass off, you sweared youd be home on time.. Im not your mom, i cant stop you from coming home late, but you can do the bare minimum and make an effort to be home the same day atleast!” you wiped your tears.

He sighs.

“Y/N i just want to live life until i can! im only young now!” he says.

“Bullshit.” you sigh. “You lie too, theres no point.”

“Bill, you have to understand im young too! And i happen to want to live my life with you! I make efforts, i dont want to beg for your love.”

He feels his heart break as you say that.. did he really hurt you that much?

“Im.. im..” he couldnt seem to get the words out of his mouth..

You zip your sweater down, youre getting hot from crying so much, and Bills body heat is making you feel hotter.

He looks at you as if he saw an angel fly by, you looked gorgeous, but he knew he shoudlnt focus on that, however his eyes were gkued to your chest.

“Im..” he mumbles.

“Youre what, Bill? Is it really that fucking hard?” you mumble, not loud enough to make it clear to him what you said..

“W-what..?! I-Im not.. hard? I..” he tried fighting down what he thought your assumptions are.

You look him up and down, rolling your eyes.

“I- i mean! i… oh god” he stutters.

“Youre a fucking idiot..”

You walk back into the bedroom.

He follows once again.

You lay down on your side of the bed, he lays down on his, facing you.

“Im sorry..” he finally spits out.

“Wasnt so hard now was it?”

He looks down, ashamed.

You turn over, you dont want to see his face right now.

He glides his hands down your stomach, pulling you closer.

“Can i make it up to you?”

His words gave you butterflies, but you didnt reply, you just wanted him to read your mind.. or your body language.

He glides his hands even lower, finally touching the bottoms of your pyjamas.

God, his hands are so gentle..

He pats your thighs a bit before bringing his hands back up and tucking on the string of your pyjama bottoms.

“Can i?”

You nod.

He unties the string, sliding his hands underneath your pyjama bottoms.

He can feel how wet you already are.

Your breathing gets heavier and heavier by the second.

You arch your back, begging for some spark, begging him to finger you.

—————————————————————————

You can barely catch your breath , as he thursts his cock in and out of you at such a fast pace that youre surprised you can even keep up.

With each thurst he slides his cock just to the very tip, only to slam it right back in.

He moans with each thurst, your noises align.

He feels as if he cant control himself…

He can feel both of you reaching your climaxes.

“Hold onto me.. okay? Fuck…”

“Close?” he whines.

You nod, moaning heavily.

“Me too baby, me too..”

He continues, not missing a single beat from the rythm.

Not long after hes on the edge of finishing.

“I..Im.. fuck..”

He tries speaking again.

“Im gonna.. cum..”

He moans as he says the last word, releasing his seed inside of you, making you finish aswell.

He makes sure to fuck his cum into you, not wasting a single drop.

—————————————————————————

You guys cuddle in bed, resting after whatever just happened.

“Im sorry” He whispers.

You pull him closer as an answer.

“I promise on my life i wont be late again.. im sorry..”

He kisses you, caressing your head, before both of you fall asleep.

—————————————————————————

Alright i hope u guys liked that! sorry the smut part was short:(

Also i apologize for the spelling mistakes and all that, im hungarian and i dont know how to spell fancy words, ykwim?

Tried my best! Love u!

[melonminnie]

first request on your blog! quite excited :)

I would like to request cassis (from the way to protect female lead older brother with a f! reader) who is trying to a find a way to confess to his crush? it’s okay if can’t do it though.

- @lyomeii

Everywhere at the end of Time ( Cassis x fem reader!)

- ahhhh! TYSM for requesting I rlly like your works so I was happy!!! I tried my hardest to make at accurate to the request so I’m sorry if this is disappointing

Cassis stared at the otter on his desk for what seemed like forever, he earlier that day decided to confess his feelings to someone whom he had liked for a very long time.

At first he decided to keep it simple, he was simply too nervous to tell the girl his feelings, so he opted to writing it on paper.

Everything was going perfect for the boy, he had the letter ready and just needed to hand it to you, it was until his younger sister Sylvia came in a berated him for his letter, yes it was heart felt, but it was lacking.

“It’s definitely missing something” she argued holding the love letter in between her hands, She’d read it before, and now she’s been going back and forth with her brother. “Don’t you think she deserves something a little bit nicer if she’s going to have be stuck with you for the rest of her life!” She added.

Cassis stared at his younger sister, he couldn’t be bothered to argue with her right now, but she had a point.

You deserved something more than decent, he knew that better than anyone. He was going simple with the confession so that he can outdo himself later in the future.

Cassis glanced around the room for an idea on what to do to Impress His crush, he put his chin on one hand still in thought of what to do.

On one hand he could easily opt for something simple as flowers, but he wanted it to be grand, special, a moment that you wouldn’t even reject without a second thought you’d say, something that would leave you stunned a memory forever in your brain, that’s the impact he wanted.

After a few days he’d found the perfect plan or one that he thought was perfect, of course it didn’t check out everything he’d thought of, but he’d try, he had bought two rings, which Sylvia thought was outrageous, “are you planning to ask her to be your girlfriend or Marry her?” We’re her exact words.

But he didn’t care, he had thought it was perfect, he tell you they were promise rings, in order to spend the rest of your future with you, and he’d do the same.

The silver head was smiling like an idiot for a week after he bought the rings, he’d carry them with him everywhere like they were his sacred possession.Every couple of hours he’d take a peak at the rings.

To say he was excited was an understatement, he was very very excited almost as if he’d almost become a father or something. But he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t nervous, he was freaking out, What if he ruined this precious moment with you? What if you somehow reject him and no longer wanna hang out with him because you think he’s creepy?.

But he shoved his nervousness and got ready, he’d promised you he would take you somewhere a few weeks ago but he kept delaying, To prepare for this moment he’d managed to reserve the entire cafe.

He was bubbling with excitement, when he saw just how gorgeous you looked, he couldn’t pass up the opportunity not like he was even planning too, Even though you looked stunning everyday he’d thought there was something different today.

“Y/n” Cassis got closer, he took the girls hand and kissed it, “Cassis” the girl replied smiling. “Shall we enter?” He questioned, “Alright” agreed the girl, her complexion looked confused for a second, “Is there something on my face you look nervous” Cassis kept on glancing after the two took a seat, “No but for a popular Cafe dont you think it’s just a little too quiet?” She questioned, her eyes wandering everywhere not a single person in sight.

“Ah I reserved the whole cafe for the two of us” he replied reassuring, her expression calmed down, but she didn’t question it, had someone else done this before?..

Cassis took a deep breath, it was time for his confession.

“Y/n I have something important to tell you” his voice barely came out as whisper, this was already going wrong in his head.

“Sure what is is?” She moved her body forward. To listen better.

“Y/n” he started, “for the longest time sense I’ve first looked at you, I feel in love with you, I’m not flattering it in anyway, you made me happy I feel like I can come to you with anything and you wouldn’t complain about it or how long it is, your too perfect for me sometimes even if I don’t deserve it, will you consider being mine for eternity?”

[sawturn77]

𝑶𝑪𝑬𝑨𝑵 𝑬𝒀𝑬𝑺 (𝒇𝒖𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒈𝒖𝒓𝒐 𝒎𝒆𝒈𝒖𝒎𝒊 𝒙 𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒆𝒓)

02: somebody I used to know.

MASTERLIST.

january 1st, 2018.

----

suguru saved me from the awkward silence and wiggly eyebrows from satoru. "y/n! come help me set up the table, please!" "coming!" i bolted out of there. phew, at least im free from embarrassment now. . once i got in the kitchen, yuji and nobara were arguing about who was going to eat the most food. suguru handed me the utensils that went on the table. i realized hadn't talked to him since i got home. he gently patted my head instead of ruffling my hair like satoru. "how was your visit to the ice rink?" he asked, gently smiling at me. "It was good, until i hit my head and fell on my butt." suguru chuckled at my defeated tone. i started to set the table, placing the chopsticks, spoons, etc in front of every seat. i watch as yuji and nobara approach him, talking to him comfortably. i didnt know they were friends with megumi. he seems like the closed off type, especially now.

----

soon, shoko arrives and everyone eats. i have to admit, my brother sure can cook. im starting to think hes like satoru's malewife..anyways, after everyone finished eating, we had a drawing, and whoever drew the short stick had to wash dishes while everyone else got to play uno. God was NOT favoring me today. there were two short sticks, and guess who got them! me and megumi. FREAKING MEGUMI. you know what? it cant get more awkward than this.... right?

wrong.

here, we stood right beside each other, shoulder touching shoulder, leg touching leg. i wanted to crawl in a hole and disappear. the worst part was, he wasn’t even bothered by it! he didn’t even acknowledge it! surely, if i was him, i’d at least be stealing glances! oh, well, maybe he isnt that kind of guy. he was never interested in stuff like that. the two of us stood at the kitchen sink, washing dishes. the entire time, i was wondering how to start a conversation and barely got anything done! megumi had done most of it. now he probably thinks im useless! he’ll never associate himself with someone so unhelpful. “so,” i started, lips trembling. he glances at me. how come his eyelashes are so long? does he use mascara? “how..how have you b-been lately?” i wanted to curse myself. who the hell stutters nowadays!? “alright. what about you?” i could feel my shoulders tensing. i had heard his voice earlier, but now, im really paying attention to it. just thinking about it makes my stomach do axles. “good, actually.” i smiled, desperate to keep myself from squealing. minutes past, he hasnt said anything after that. okay, you dont wanna talk to me, cool. fine. whatever. (squealing) part of me wanted yuji and nobara to come in and start being annoying to break the ice. hell, maybe even satoru would do. after what seemed like decades, we finally finished washing the dishes. i sighed in relief, but i couldnt have a moment of grace before my heart nearly jumped out of my chest. i felt a napkin on my cheek, wiping soap off my face. “sorry,” he muttered. kill. me. please. “you had soap on your face.” i laughed awkwardly while he just looked at me, “really? i-uhm, i didn’t know! thanks.” what the hell, y/n?? what is your problem??

yuji and nobara ran towards me and megumi, bombarding us with a fury of words i didnt understand. something along the lines of, “guess what?? i won against mr. gojo!” “no, kugisaki cheated!” “the hell? i didnt cheat! all of you just suck!” “cheater cheater, pumpkin eater!” “grow up!” megumi frowned at their antics. “idiots” he muttered.

an: hey guys sorry for the short chapter😔i kinda rushed bc i have to gts early bc i have school tmrw. but i will be posting tomorrow or the day after that! it normally takes me two days (4 hours total) to write this much anyway

TAGLIST: @fillmeup6969 @morgyyyyy @kasumitenbaz (OPEN)

[arttrampbelle]

Honest opinions hour:

Mk9 was actually fan service done well. Minus the shit with shang tsung and sindel,raiden bargaining with a fucking bald ass demon that is quan chi. And kung lao dying and being treated like shit. And liu kang being an arrogant asshole that never gets called out in the narrative outside of towers. But we all should FUCKING KNOW! that tower endings aren't canon! They are best case scenario in favor of the character YOU PICKED. that's the point of towers. (And the fact that nrs got rid of towers said to me they dont give a fuck about their fans. AT ALL. And people are too stupid to see just how fucked up and really bad that is for the game. That's how you know mk has been commercialized. Next they gonna get rid of the violence or blood too,watch as they fuck up so badly. And make it legitimately an official knockoff cheap sanitized version. Ugh gross. Watch as people legitimately dont care and when all the hype goes away....they are left with nothing and nobody. Y'all first clue should have been when they made kuai scorpion. But y'all be a special kinda dumb to not see why that is bad. But i digress.)

Anyways. Mk11 was mid. Not the best. Not the worst. But mid. But now? It's a masterpiece compared to the shitshow that is mk12,aka mk1 2023.

Raiden isn't fucking emotionless. He cares about mortals,and especially his mortals that fight under him and his brother fujin. Raiden is the most human out of all the gods. And yes,he's a god. Not a chump farmer,not a fucking "dEmiGoD" naw. A full blown,non gmo,grade A,can of whoop ass,bonafide,thunder god! Fight me on that! Also raiden has responsibilities but he's sassy and loving. Like your dad figure. He's dad shaped. He's understaffed,underpaid,underappreciated,mortals sometimes take his ass for granted(unfortunately). Again raiden is a sweetheart,no pushover,but not a complete dick. No more than anyone else could be.

Speaking of his brother fujin. Fujin is not some uwu,uke boy. He's not some dude that is helpless. He's ferocious,he's deadly. Mischievous,impish,and not someone you should take lightly. He's not the "nicer" of the storm gods. He's just much as a full can of whoops ass as his brother. If not more so. The only difference between fujin n raiden is raiden has years and eons of fucking restraint and mastery. Fujin dont(or he just dont bother to). Raiden is a guaranteed death if you push him. But he doesn't. You could survive fujin,barely,but evennif you do raiden aint far behind and you....aint surviving that man. But lucky for you these two dont automatically resort to violence. Unless you declare mortal kombat. Then im sorry honey your shit outta luck. May the elder gods have mercy on you,cuz they won't.

Reptile is a fucking lizard man. Not some twink in disguise. (Dude I've seen better human forms that that fr from fans eww nrs. Eww.) And his whole ass species was brought into near extinction,and endangerment by SHAO KAHN. NOT SHANG TSUNG YOU IDIOTS. SHAO KAHN. shao kahn has been fucking gotten rid of his importance in the story and it pisses me off. Shao kahn did a looooooot of work. And nrs erased it and gave it to my man?! Like i love shang but no offense,shang tsung isn't that kinda dide to do that shit. At all. He's better as a behind the scenes guy. Because guess what?....THAT WAS HIS WHOLE POOOOOIIIINT!!!!

Shang is a recurring headache at best and at worst he is only a threat to those who dare disrespect him,challenge him,and or prevent him from getting souls(which he needs to live. Not just for power you twats,no he legitimately needs them to live. He's cursed. And idgaraf what nrs said or says.)

Rain is an actual demigod. And is argus's illegitimate son. I hc the gods and elders gods didn't really gaf about mortals x gods mingling. Argus worried about his worshipers and mortals reactions. Because legitimately he cheated on his wife dalia. And taven n daegon were gonna suffer because of it. Rain's mother was heartbroken and told her son died in birth. And yeah rains whole backstory is fucked. But yeah that's what happened. Basically argus is a dick and isn't well liked among the mortals and gods. (Dont tell jade,i hc she was devote to argus but blinded to the truth. Untill she eventually found out. She was so hurt by this,poor jade)

Hanzo hasashi is scorpion. Always will be. Fight me. End of discussion.

Bi-han was just as a victim as kuai and hanzo. Quan chi is the fucker you should blame. Idgaf if you love hanzo. Dont blame bi-han for quan chi's manipulations. Bi-han suffered really bad. It's not his fault that the narrative still wants to cheapen his character to "eViL bRoThEr" archtype trope. Pisses me off. Bi-han and hanzo should shake hands and make up. Like fr.

Never forgive nrs. Idgaf if they make any new games. Dont buy them. They had many years to get shit right. They screwed up. Just play the old games

I havee many more but I'll leave it at that for now.

[fangirlstorycreator]

Can you do when we fall asleep on the couch after an argument

You and Terry had been arguing at the dojo, it got to the point you didnt even remember how the argument started, but you still continued. "Why dont you want to spend time with me anymore?" "Y/N it's not that I dont want to spend time with you, I do! I'm just very busy with John!" "Oh really? Then what about when your at home with me? Your so distant, and whenever I try to comfort you after your work day, you just shrug me off! I'm not even being clingy about it! I know you need to wind down after work and I give you a good hour at least to have some alone time. And when I do come and say hello to you, I dont push you around and say, can you do this, and you do that. I just ask you if your alright! What do you want me to do?!" "I just need some space!" He shouts out loud. You felt like a part of your heart just broke. You had no idea that it could physically hurt like that. You speak in a calm tone, and try to hide the pain your feeling. "Fine.... I'll give you your space. I wont bother you." He looks so remorseful, and regretted ever saying it. "Sweetheart I'm sorry i- I didnt mean to say that I-" you turn around, and leave his dojo. Crying on your way to the car. Your driving away just as he runs out of the dojo to try and catch you. "Y/N! Wait!" But you were already gone. When you got home, you just sat and cried your eyes out. Yours and Terry's house had many spare rooms for guests, so you take your blanket and hide yourself in one of them. Not wanting to disturb Terry when he got home. Giving him his space. There was a sofa in the spare room (being Terry's house, a spare room can feel like a hotel with how much money he has) you sit on the sofa and wrap yourself in the blacket. Tired from the crying, you eventually fall asleep. When Terry gets home, he instantly calls out to you. "Y/N? Sweetheart? Are you home?" He looks around the house for you, and eventually ends up in yours and his bedroom. But you weren't there. Terry felt heartbroken when he didnt see you. He sat on the bed and hid his face in his hands. Then he started to cry. "You stupid idiot! Shes the best thing that ever happend to you and you f#cked it up!" He says to himself. He turns slightly, and notices that your favourite blanket was gone, and your keys were on the desk, indicating that you were home. He stands up and looks in the spare bedrooms, when he comes across the room your in, and he sees you, curled up on the sofa. He breathes a sigh of relief as he approaches you, but also a regretful feeling goes through him. He never wanted to hurt you, he hated what he said, and he hated himself for making you feel like this. He takes you in his arms and carrys you to your bedroom, bridal style. He gently lays you down on your side of the bed and rests your head on the pillow. Hes about to leave the room when you grab his hand as hes getting off the bed. "Y/N your awake. Sweetheart I'm so sorry for what I said, i didn't mean it. I was just frustrated with work and i shouldn't have taken it out on you-" you cut him off by sitting up in bed and kissing him. "Terry you can apologise later, just please, right now, I missed you so much. I need you" with that he kisses you back, just as passionately. You pull him into bed and you both spend the rest of the night making passionate love.

[commanderquinn]

Good Space Chapter 3: Hey Gringo

! i dont! keep these posts! updated! like i do! ao3!

that means you're going to find typos and shit (and possibly minor detail changes) that don't match the ao3 version! that's because im not going to bother fixing the tumblr posts until i finish good space as a whole. im only uploading them here as a backup tbh

—

master list / ao3 chapter link

—

warnings: ayyy!! none this time!! unless you wanna count Highly Disrespectful Thoughts ❤️ tho!!! the flashbacks are shuri, heads up for anyone who is a big baby (like me) and still crying over WF. also (shocker) bucko angst/panic attacks

song: it KALEO time!! istg there are golden oldies and hippie classics on this intended playlist, we just havent gotten to them yet. this choice is mega self-indulgent on my end ngl, buuuuut thats the whole fic in general lbr (side note: every time i write Angy Ava, i want you to imagine the vocal intensity of jefferson airplane’s lead singer, grace slick)

the timing of this chapter could NOT have been better with the probably-russian hackers knocking out ao3 that long. i mean it dude, im pretty sure the universe had a good chuckle over this one bc i sure as shit had to sit here and go “youre pullin my leg bud”

also now feels like a good time to mention, for absolutely no reason in particular (definitely not bc of Bucky being a Huge Simp this chapter), that i hc bucky as a dom with service top leanings. i just didnt wanna give the impression that reader is dom for this and accidentally get anyones hopes up with no payoff. i try to avoid that as much as i can bc god knows i drop Big Honkers on y’all every damn chapter, id hate for you to get all the way to the end of this and not get your cookie, y’know? (i am, ofc, down to write mega sub bucky for smut-shot requests)

also remember when i mentioned giving ava a HANDFUL of physical details for writing fuel? 🌝 (ur gonna think im funny rlly soon, dw)

anyways if you dont have adhd, good luck and god speed with the idiots thinkin abt each other in this chapter ❤️ im so sorry in advance 🥺😔

—

Febuary 17th, 2015

"Good morning, Sh—"

"Have you left your worthless husband yet?" Shuri impatiently taps a finger against her elbow, where her arms are crossed over her chest. 

She watches Ava sigh on the other end of the vidcall. The woman looks too tired. She needs rest. Shuri wants to stab Alec all over again. She's going to make a new, self-lacing, possibly electrified dagger just for the occasion. "I know you're just trying to—"

"We can come to get you. I will send T'Challa. You must promise me that you will have him get me something from Washington." Shuri raises a stern finger, pointing it directly at the camera. "Do not let him pick it out himself—"

"Shuri, honey, I love you with all my heart, but please—"

"I want you to pick it. The furniture in your office is ridiculous; I want something like that."

A smile far too small pulls at the corners of Ava's lips. Her smile used to move freely, and it will do so again if Shuri has any say in the matter. Which she does. "Well, thank you, I work very hard to keep it ridiculous. Now—"

"It will make me think of you whenever you are not around to make fun of my brother with me. My mother will get the lawyers you need to start your divorce—"

"I—sweetheart, please, it's been a very long night—"

"It is the afternoon where you are. You have not even had breakfast, have you? Of course not. You are busy doing the work while Alec—"

"Shuri!" Ava puts a hand over her eyes and takes an unsteady breath in. "I'm sorry. This is—it's been a long night. I didn't mean to yell at you—"

"You need to start yelling much more, Ava. Aim it at your worthless husband while you tell him you are leaving," Shuri argues, entirely fed up with how the doctor allows the spineless dickhead to make her miserable. "T'challa will remove him for you while you stay here with us."

Alec—she refuses to call him Ryder; the man does not deserve to have taken the doctor's name—leans into the camera view, his expression bored. Dismissive. Shuri wants to smash his wrinkling, greasy face in with her fist. "While I appreciate the offer, your majesty, my wife and I can handle our private life alone."

Shuri glares back at him, one of her eyebrows hiked as far up as she can comfortably get it. "Do you really think being aware of your presence on this call will deter me from reminding my friend that you are a demon?" She looks pointedly at Ava, who's still covering her eyes. "He is a demon. A pasty, rude demon."

"Alec is going to shut the fuck up now, I promise." The fingers over Ava's eyes pull in until she's pinching the bridge of her nose tightly. She looks as if she's fighting off a migraine. She probably is. And it is Alec's fault. "That way, we can get this over with, and I can finally get some sleep—"

"Which you need and are not getting enough of." The words slip out before Shuri can stop them. 

Ava's shoulders deflate slightly. Her hand drops, and she attempts another smile that doesn't reach her eyes, making Shuri feel a pang of guilt. "No, I'm not. But I will, just as soon as we finish the basic adaptation matrix. I promise."

Ava always encourages her to speak her mind, no matter what. Sometimes it gets her into trouble. She is not looking to berate her favorite Canadian; she loves leaving the vidcomm between their labs on. The open connection is a comforting window into the outside, one that lets Shrui indulge in any question or raving that passes through her mind. 

Alec is a poison in her friend's life, and Shuri will not back down from reminding her of that. But mother and Nakia have sat with her over this, explaining that sometimes, an abused heart will cling to what hurts it. They have to be supportive while Ava works through this. She's getting there. Just not nearly fast enough for Shuri's patience.

Father has been reminding them all that Alec is a risk, given what he knows. Trusting Ava means trusting her for the duration, and they can't go back now. If she says she is handling the issue of separating the man from her work, they have to allow her room to do that. But T'Challa has been ordered to keep close, or at the very least, ready to go.

As much as she despises Alec, Shuri does not wish to see Ava hurt in this. Not any more than necessary. She is also not interested in trying to control her friend the way her mother sometimes tries to control her. It is infuriating. 

So, taking a deep breath and squaring her shoulders, she lets some of the fight leave her. For the sake of Ava, not the pasty demon. "I have the latest build ready for transfer." 

"You're sure you've secured the connection on your end?" Alec has the audacity to question, even outside of the frame. "I'm not interested in spending my week chasing traces of this—"

"Do I look as if I will hesitate to strike you, colonizer?!"

—

"I'm just saying, Humpty Dumpty."

"Fuck off," Bucky wheezes at the billionaire, compressing the towel he grabbed from his new medkit against his ribs. Why he expected to make it through his first mission back without having to crack it open, he's not entirely sure now that he's sitting in the hindsight. Getting shot today was, if he's honest with himself, entirely predictable. It's his luck, after all. 

"We let you out of the house again for five minutes, and you've already broken yourself." Tony shakes his head as he tsk's, making Bucky roll his eyes lazily. "What's Ryder going to think? If you keep this up, you'll give the woman a complex about draining your mojo."

"She's going to think I throw myself in front of armor-piercing rounds for idiots that don't notice when they're being shot at." The mention of Ava brings the doctor's smiling face to the forefront of his mind. Bucky leans back against the Quinjet's co-pilot seat, letting his eyes fall closed. 

He could take care of this latest injury himself. That's what he usually does. Thanks to the serum, all he has to do is keep the wound clean for a few hours while his body stitches itself back together. Nothing's broken, and he'd be in much more pain if anything were punctured. Hell, he'd probably be dead already. The fix for this is so easy it'll practically handle itself.

"You always get so cranky after you've played the hero." He hears Tony kick his feet up on the Quinjet's main controls. "Take a breather. Maybe a bow or two. Believe it or not, it's possible to accept a compliment now and then."

"Grandstand more often, got it."

Ava's probably going to hear about today's incident now that Bucky thinks about it. If anything, Steve's going to make sure of it. He doubts she'd guilt him for not being comfortable with an optional trip to medical. They've been having more conversations about boundaries and comfort, and she's been unwaveringly supportive of him moving at his own pace. 

"You don't have to grandstand, you gigantic baby," Natasha chides from between the chairs. Her hand smacks against his shoulder, making Bucky grunt softly. "A whole new world is going to open up for you when you relearn to accept praise."

Tony snorts, long and loud. "Has he reached that stage of modern education yet?"

"I reached that stage of education before you were born, Stark." Bucky's not territorial over his reputation anymore; those days are long since passed. The grand majority of his mojo got left in the 40s. He's just tired of Tony's shit. That's all it is.

He shifts uncomfortably in his seat. Ava might feel bad that he didn't come to her for something like this. He doesn't... want that. He doesn't want her thinking that he doesn't welcome her help or that he doesn't trust it. He... he does. He doesn't just appreciate having the option; he enjoys it. The new routine is a breeze, and his neck feels better than it ever has. At least that he can remember.

"I'm confused," Tony mumbles around a mouthful of snacks. The man never stops eating. "Are we talking about your no-no years, or did you and Rogers hit up underground bars before Germany?"

"I know all his secrets from the vanilla days; they never went to any of the fun ones," Natasha confirms. It's not like Bucky was going to take the verbal bait anyways. Steve still falls for it regularly. 

"I like how you don't deny having the rest of the answer; I feel like it tells me all I can tolerate about the icicles when it comes to this. That's my favorite part about you, Romanoff. You know when I don't need to know, you know?"

His dumbass friends might as well be background noise with Bucky's mind this firmly in the memory of Ava's office. She's been so good to him, especially over this last week while she pushed through all the red tape for him. He'd been expecting it to take an eternity of hounding Steve all by his lonesome, but she got him back in the field in under two weeks. His best friend had actually been kind of pissy about it behind closed doors. For Bucky, it was like getting sprinkles on top of his cake. 

He's been thinking about getting flowers delivered to her lab for the trouble. It feels like too much whenever his thumb hovers over the confirmation button. He's reached the part of staring at the order details four times.

"I'm pretty sure your country doesn't appreciate it as much as you do. They tend to fight cold wars over it."

"Well, yeah, but our country—you see what I did there? That was a pretty funny communism joke. And it works as a reminder for both of us that you're actually an American citizen these days; isn't that wild? Back to the point here, our country fights wars over stuff we do ourselves all the time, so that doesn't feel like a fair reason to dismiss our friendship."

The doctor's forcing him to expand his music library. Her taste there is as scattered as her taste in movies, but she's got some leading themes he's been able to pin down. The 60s and 70s are huge for her, expectedly, and she's got a lot of nostalgia over the 90s. Paige keeps her versed in all things pop, folk, and country, according to her. 

"If I start referring to the US as my country, you people will expect me to do things like register to vote. Or put up wallpaper."

"I don't think anyone's expecting you to be legally allowed to do that. The voting thing, not the wallpaper. In most states. For multiple reasons. Although, the wallpaper might be a good call."

Ava invited him to their absurdly large archive of playlists during his second session. The ones Paige curates are nothing but insanity. Not one of them makes a lick of sense. Bucky decided that he should have expected that, given her Energizer Bunny reputation. Ava's are less scattered; more organized. Soothing for his mind to digest. He's been using them as workout music ever since. And driving music. And general background noise. 

"I don't think I'd know where to start buying wallpaper. Do you even want me putting that shit on your expensive building?"

"Not really, but the idea of walking in on you rolling paste on the living room walls is worth anything it could take to fix them later."

God, she's funny, too. He could listen to the woman's awful, soul-crushing puns and subsequent cackling for hours. He'll never say that to her face, not for as long as he lives, but they've made him feel lighter every morning that he's gone to let her work him over. He's already stolen two of them to torture Sam with. Another thing he's not going to tell her.

"Maybe I should start smaller. Bruce keeps suggesting a car that has legal registration."

"Heeey, that could work. You'll be signing up for mailing lists and bitching about state tax in no time. You know what?" He hears Tony snap his fingers. "We should get you a houseplant. Work you up to having a fish or something."

Alright. Maybe he'll go to Ava. He doesn't want her to think he's trying to blow off her expertise again. Or that he's avoiding her. He's not; he really does like hanging out in her office. Even if it's technically a medical appointment. He's a lot more eager to visit her than his therapists, that's for sure.

"I am not paying taxes," Natasha scoffs. "If you think I'm tying a legal address to my name, you're out of your fucking mind. Moreso than usual."

"You don't think you'd enjoy having a cave to lurk in?"

"What makes you think I don't have one already?"

"I'm talking about a real house, not a safe house."

This injury isn't related to his cybernetics. It's his ribs, well below any of his implants. He's not entirely out of the loop when it comes to what doctors have to do to get their licenses. She no doubt had to pull a lot of hard hours during her residency. Maybe she doesn't want to patch up the tower's notorious grouch every time he takes a hit. But he doubts she'd ever be impolite enough to refuse him walking in.

"I have my space here: bathroom, laundry room, small kitchen. If I haven't bothered decorating that, what makes you think I'll want to do it for an entire house?"

"Aww, come on. Look at Ryder! She's having all kinds of fun making her place as obnoxious as possible. That could be you after a few online shopping sprees."

Bucky's eyes open slowly, his brows drawing in when the second verbal mention of Ava pulls parts of his attention back to the conversation. 

Fuck, not going to medical still leaves the option of her taking offense. Okay. Alright. So, he'll split the difference and go to emergency intake. He's pretty sure she's listed as his surgical contact in the tower now—he can't stomach looking at his own medical file, not even the written records. Any injury this big will get flagged for trauma support, and she'll be notified. Then it's up to her what she wants to do. That feels like a good compromise.

"She's doing that to reclaim it from Alec; that's different. I don't have the same motivation. For me, it's just going to be extra work.

"Who's Alec?" Bucky asks without thinking. If the universe doesn't hate him today, Natasha's just going to assume he's being his usual kind of paranoid.

"She hasn't mentioned him?" Tony sounds surprised. "Alec's her ex-husband."

Ex-husband? She was married? And she's not anymore, meaning she might be—

He shuts down that train of thought immediately. 

Reclaiming the space of her house implies they lived in it long enough to form some heavy memories. She hasn't mentioned having a kid, and she strikes him as the type to bring up something like that pretty fast. So it was just the two of them, most likely.

"People usually don't like talking about the egocentric sack of shit they used to coexist with," Natasha points out. Of course, she already knows about the doctor's history. It's her.

"Bad divorce?" he prods, trying not to sound overly invested in the answer. These assholes will take it as an invitation.

"Oh, the worst," Tony confirms. "Shithead tried fighting her on it tooth and nail. She had to borrow my legal team just to get the guy to fuck off and leave her alone. He even kept her surname after the divorce; can you believe that?"

An uneasy feeling starts to rise in his gut, making Bucky look over at him. Then up at Natasha. "What kind of won't leave her alone are we talking about?"

"Down, fido, my lawyers took care of it. There's no need to start tailing him. Aside from being a self-absorbed asshole that insists they'll," Tony's voice turns scornful as his fingers form air quotes, "work things out with time, he's toothless." 

"She's got concealed carry permits she earned properly if that makes you feel better," Natasha offers up. The thought does help ease the tension building in him. 

He won't read Ava's file, no matter how bad the buzzing gets. But he might check in with JARVIS about her home security. He's noticed her name on the system logs. She, or at least her house, is linked to SHIELD's network despite her general distrust of the organization. He understands the opposing priorities completely.

He caved and read Wyatt's file two nights ago. The buzzing had been building since Ava mentioned him wanting an autograph, and it finally got to be too much. Nothing's lurking there aside from an impressive list of historians from all the fuck over Georgia and Alabama. The kid's got more family than some towns have population. 

Bucky leans forward with a muted groan to change the autopilot's intended LZ of the Avenger's balcony to the entrance hanger for medical. If he's going to grit his teeth through the antiseptic over a couple small holes, he's damn sure not going to haul his ass through half the tower while his ribs leak. His patience has limits, and that's pretty fucking far over the starting line. 

Tony looks over at him with a deep, suspicious frown. Bucky frowns at him right back with the same level of scrutiny. He can feel Natasha staring a hole into the side of his head, even if he can't catch her in his peripherals. He hates both of them with a passion at the moment. He knows what's about to happen—

"Did you just… prioritize your own health," Tony questions like he's baffled by the very idea. His whole upper body turns in the seat as he looks up at Natasha excitedly. "Oh my god. He's doing it. All by himself." He raises a hand to his chest and looks back at Bucky. "They grow up so fast."

It's good that the autopilot is on. If it weren't, Bucky would be tempted to crash them out of spite, mostly because he's sure he'd survive it. "Very funny."

"All it took was a hippie that gives him candy," Natash adds, her voice dripping with smugness. "Who knew."

"Both of you can fuck off." Bucky doesn't like how close she just got to his primary motivation on the first try. Old habits die hard, et cetera. And he hates that he can't tell if she was trying to guess. If he's lucky, which he isn't, she was just making fun of him.

Natasha knows about his visits to the florist's website; he's fucking convinced of it now. He doesn't know how, and he can't outright call her on it. If he does, he could fuck up and make himself right. There is nothing worse than having the Black Widow as metaphorical family. Not even Steve's hovering.

She and Tony harass him for the remainder of the flight. It's not long, mercifully, and he's starting to regret not grabbing something for the doctor. They were in Montreal, of all places, so it would have been fitting. He figures she'll understand once he shows her his side. The train of thought makes him wonder what part of Canada she's originally from. She hasn't brought it up.

His foot is already bouncing by the time he reaches the elevator. He's still got the surgical towel shoved tightly against his ribs. He hopes she gets there fast if she ends up taking the call. The last thing he wants to do right now is sit around in the burn of antiseptic and bleach while he fights off the urge to bolt. 

This is good, Bucky reminds himself as he takes his first few steps into medical. He's sat through plenty of trips to emergency intake. He can handle walking into his first optional one. It's a non-issue. Completely.

When JARVIS informs him that his file and general vital scan have been submitted for intake, the buzzing gets so intense that he almost leaves. The pace of his sergeant walk, as Sam likes to designate it, slows to a crawl. Then he thinks about a doctor with concealed carry permits. One that lets her house be monitored by a government organization she's actively pushing herself to trust. All in an effort to contribute something good to the world. The buzzing eases, and he picks up his pace, headed for the solo observation room JARVIS listed for him.

There's no moment of standing involuntarily from nerves this time. He doesn't have to force himself to sit back down and wait, even though the room smells wrong. His skin is crawling, and he wants nothing more than to put a throwing knife in his hand like a goddamn security blanket. But he doesn't panic. He doesn't try leaving.

Baby steps.

When the door opens, it's devastating. There's no diminutive hippie with UFO-sized glasses smiling at him on the other side of it. It's a guy in a plain white lab coat without artistic stitching, one that Bucky's never met before in his life. He's already squinting down at a tablet, meaning this will be his doctor for the duration.

This was the worst plan he could have possibly conceived. The universe is humbling him for thinking he could get away with something like this without some kind of suffering. He just wanted to make up for being dismissive of her help initially. Now he gets to sit through this. How fucking grand.

"Barnes?" The doctor that's not Bucky's doctor looks up, his heart rate elevating by a few notches. He's putting in a lot of effort to look confident. It's not exactly working. "I'm Dr. Erickson. I'm guessing you're here for the bullet wounds JARVIS detected?"

"Yup." Bucky's not about to volunteer for small talk at the moment. It's a miracle he hasn't jumped off the biobed yet. "Where's Ryder?"

"Your primary is in a staff meeting at the moment." Erickson puts his tablet down on the supply cabinet's main counter. He's already starting to gather what he needs, leaving Bucky to figure out real quick if he's actually willing to do this. "Don't worry; I'll get you sewn up and on your way in no time."

He doesn't want it getting back to Ava that he bailed the moment she couldn't show up. He doesn't want to leave her with the impression that he's only going to take on medical care if it's her; that's not anywhere near fair. The woman is a brain surgeon, not his private physician. He can grow the fuck up and accept help from people that haven't gone through his gauntlet of verification.

"Great," he pushes out, lifting the side of his undershirt to offer an unobstructed view.

It's not great; it's fucking horrendous. The first touch of the new doctor makes the overly physical memory of the buzzing build so high, he can feel it in his teeth. They're not actually rattling in his jaw the way they did back then, he knows that, but it doesn't matter because his body is screaming at him that it's happening.

The first stitch going through his skin makes him want to put his fingers through the doctor's eye sockets. His mind goes over all the ways he can violently put at least ten feet between them without having to get up. Looking back, it's probably good he didn't reach for the throwing knives. He's not unhinged enough to stab someone unprovoked; he's better than that. But they'd have been distracting to his impulse control, that's for sure.

Dr. Handsy is pulling the first suture in tight when the door to the observation room opens again. Bucky doesn't look up, his eyes locked on a random point on the far wall while he focuses on his breathing. He only looks over when a billowing, maroon pant leg enters his peripheral.

Thanks to a bunch of dead Nazi scientists that used to hide out in the mountains of Russia, Bucky Barnes has a trigger in his brain that is entirely out of his control. One that, when activated by his own interest, lets him process his surroundings in a sliver of the time that it should for a human mind. It is exceptionally helpful in the field. 

Watching Ava Ryder walk in, wearing a suede jumpsuit that mercilessly frames her curves, proves to him that having it in the 30s would have gotten him shot by someone's father. Definitely before he left Brooklyn. Or before he got chased out by several fathers banding together with baseball bats. In the time it takes her hand to come off the door handle and make its way to her hip, his mind goes on one hell of a fucking journey.

He already had more than a vague idea of the shape of her before now; he can't help it. Comes with the territory of doing threat assessment for a living. God knows his eyes have slipped down to her chest on a shameful amount of occasions. Her tits are being held up and pushed together fucking beautifully at the moment. Typically, that would hold all of his attention.

But this is the first unobstructed view of her that he's gotten, thanks to the lab coat being nowhere in sight, and good fucking god. Holy fucking shit. Godfuckingdamn.

She's half turned from him at this angle, so he's only getting a side view. That's more than enough to show off an obscenely rounded ass and the cushy thighs it rests on that are going to haunt his fucking dreams. It's bigger than his hands by a margin that's outright glorious. The mental image of his fingers digging into it, of how it would make her skin dip under the pressure, makes his blood race.

He can't spot the outline of any underwear at first. Then her hand makes contact with the jumpsuit, and his eyes pick up on it. Right there, above the top of her finger, pulled up high over her hipbone. There's a thin band leaving an impression in the fabric. An extraordinarily thin band. There is nothing else in sight.

Pulled between Ava's legs, right at this very moment in time, is a strip of fabric that Bucky's tongue would fit against perfectly. Right under that is a taste he's been catching himself wondering about for two weeks now. One good, long drag of his nose. That's all it would take to push in whatever she's picked out for the day and soak it with that taste. He could get it back out from between her lips with his tongue, pull it to the side with his teeth to give himself room to feast—

Bucky tries to shift his weight as nonchalantly as possible while his brain slows back down. The comeback from tactical analysis is always jarring, with this one being especially so. 

He's the worst kind of bastard. An awful, selfish, perverted sonofabitch. There's not shit he can do to change that. How unfortunate.

"David," Ava greets, the name coming out as tense as the closed smile plastered on her face. "You can put that down."

The other doctor doesn't look up from the work his hands are doing. "That you, Ava? I heard you were—"

"Now."

Bucky's back straightens up as David looks at her nervously, taken aback. Bucky doesn't blame him; he didn't know her voice could get that forceful.

David sort of laughs, which feels like the worst possible choice to Bucky. But, hey, not his call. "What, do you want me to just—"

"I want your hands off my patient right now. I'm not asking." She watches with unwavering intensity as the other doctor lets the needle and thread drop from his hands. She visibly bristles at the patronizing expression on David's face, her head tilting aggressively. Bucky kind of wants to watch her hit him. "I'll be back in less than a minute, sergeant. I need a word outside with Dr. Erikson."

"Take your time," Bucky assures, the tension bleeding out of him already. His ribs are leaking, and there's a piece of doctor floss looped through his skin that he's going to have to cut out of himself tomorrow morning. The immoral evaluation of her outfit that his head threw at him is going to eat him alive. Forever. Especially when he's trying to fall asleep for the foreseeable future. 

All things considered, though, he feels fan-fucking-tastic.

David still looks somewhat shell-shocked, and there's real insult starting to creep into his posture, but the guy doesn't argue. He follows Ava back out of the room, not bothering with a goodbye in Bucky's direction. When the door closes behind them, his super hearing picks up on Ava reaming David about prioritizing patients before ego. She goes into detail about the deep shit he'll be in with her if he keeps ignoring her written orders, long before it ever gets him fired. She tacks on why her anger should scare him a hell of a lot more than the idea of that. Then she instructs him to keep his damn hands off her patients and get back to the intake desk. 

The protective streak makes Bucky's chest feel warm, a half-smile pulling at his lips. She's a handful, alright. One he'd give anything to be brave enough to send flowers to.

Ava is calm, cool, and collected when she leans back in through the doorframe, hanging off it with a soft smile. "Hiya, stranger. I hear you picked a fight in my motherland today."

"I hear it has an arms dealer problem. I wanted to see if I could help." He gestures down at the needle swinging from his ribs without looking at it. "Not all Canadians are as welcoming as you, turns out."

"Eh?" she fires back, hamming up the accent. "Wellll, I'm not about to let a few cranky arms dealers tarnish our reputation. What do you say you push that bandage against your new bragging rights, and we head for my office?"

Licking his bottom lip nervously, he tries to give her a confident smile. "You were busy with something."

"Not too busy for my favorite popsicle." One eyebrow raises sternly. "You are not allowed to tell Steve I'm playing favorites." God, she's cute when she tries to deflect. It's never worked. At least not on him.

"That's—" Shit, where to even find the fucking words for her. "You don't have to do this. Go out of your way like this. I don't mind getting patched up by random medics. Comes with the job."

Her smile turns impish. "That's cool and all, but I mind when people ignore basic ethics just to have a story about stitching up an Avenger. If you need to tell yourself I'm using you as fuel for a workplace pissing contest, go for it. Whatever gets you off that biobed." She leans back, leaving the door open wide behind her. "Come on; I can't stand the way they organize these damn shelves. I wouldn't patch you up in here even if you did pay me. Next time, head for my office first."

Bucky does as she ordered, pushing the surgical towel she packed for him against his side, not minding the sting in the least. He swallows down the point that, by every definition there is, he's not an Avenger. "I'll follow you, doc."

—

"Alright," Wyatt plops his hands down on the glass of the holo, his expression determined. His tight curls bounce with the motion, making their resident gumdrop look adorable, even through the discomfort. "Let's get to dissectin' this cacophony. All in one go, preferably, so I don't feel like yackin' up my lunch two days runnin'."

Ava's head tilts sympathetically. "Oh, honey, tell me you didn't—"

His hand comes up, with his index finger pointed to the ceiling. "Nope. But I got close a couple'a times thinkin' about this." He mutters several things under his breath about creepy Nazi bastards while he pulls up the raw data from Bucky's implants. "All the more reason to get it the hell over with."

"A whole day of digging through coded war crimes," Hannah deadpans quietly, raising a steaming mug to her lips. "I'm glad we get the fun assignments."

"You'd ditch us if we didn't," Ava jokes. She scrolls through the sergeant's file absentmindedly on her tablet, reviewing the vitals added just a few hours ago. He actually came to medical. For something as minor as a field injury. Of his own volition.

"Mmm. I don't know. It's pretty fun watching a brain move like Jell-O. You might have been able to convince me to stick around just for that."

SHIELD's primary system makes a blaring noise of disagreement as Wyatt loads the main file structure. He frowns, looking over at Ava with concern. "Its askin' for administrative override."

"Heeey, that's that thing Tony says I'm not supposed to abuse. That's probably not a good sign." Ava pushes her glasses further up the bridge of her nose and leans over to get a look at the error. "JAR, I'd like some reassurance we're not about to trigger an ancient LoJack if you wouldn't mind advising here."

"There are safeguards in place for importing code with an unknown source," JARVIS reports in. The warning on the screen is dismissed, presumably by him, and a new window comes up. A log of the programming in Bucky's cybernetics going through digital quarantine loads rapidly, with line after line being highlighted in red and labeled HYDRA Suspected. "I will process them for you. One moment."

"We have to clean the Nazi code before we can beat it to death," Hannah mumbles against the rim of her mug. "I think I kind of like that."

"Please, Hannie, I'm hangin' on by the skin'a my teeth here." Scrubbing his hands over his face, Wyatt groans exhaustedly. He drags them down slowly, giving Hannah a pleading look over the tops of his fingers. "You know I'm always here for supportin' you—"

"I'm aware." The ex-marine's clipped tone makes Ava snort and look back down at her tablet. They both know stopping him now isn't going to cut off the word vomit.

Wyatt's hands thunk back down onto the glass. "I'm so proud'a ya, y'know that—" And there's the thickening of the accent.

"I know."

Ava's eyes skim over the list of everything detected in Bucky's wound, locking on the word leather in particular. Today was her first look at his work gear—she's got a feeling he doesn't call it a uniform—in person. It was hard to keep professional in front of six and a half feet of Hi, how are ya? wrapped up in that much heavy black. The sounds that his vest made when he dropped it on the coffee table— Jesus. He's got to be packing enough in there to arm a small country. 

"All's I'm sayin' is that if I have to hear about murder right now, I might actually upchu—"

"Please don't."

Ava's too scared to ask what's in the sergeant's pants for a multitude of reasons. Professionalism is lower on the list than it probably should be. It's a shame, too. He's downright hilarious when he lets himself talk. There's not a doubt in her mind that he'd come up with something unbearably good—and unwaveringly dry—in response to the loaded question.

"A'right then. We're in agreement. No bad thoughts today. We go in like—like excavators, right? With our helmets and our 'lil pickaxes, and we get what we need so we can—" The way he cuts himself off makes Ava look back up in concern. She finds the most horrified expression on Wyatt's face. "That—ah shit, that didn't come out all that right. That was mean, wannit? Insensitive. I'm not tryin' to belittle what the sergeant's been through."

"You weren't belittling anything," Ava assures, reaching out to rub his arm. "I think he'd be the first one to race you to a fossil joke about this."

"You'll tell 'im I'm takin' this serious, won't ya—"

A small chuckle escapes before she can stop it. "Wyatt, sweetheart, it's not like he heard you—"

"You take your pills today, Combs?" Hannah's calm question makes the gumdrop freeze in place. She blows on her coffee, taking a small sip. "If you say you don't remember, I'm going to—"

Wyatt snaps his fingers, his expression shifting to relief. "I didn't, and I remember why, too." He rolls his chair back with a sudden push, aiming for his desk. He reaches out before the chair finishes the trip to grab his patch-covered messenger bag. "One'a the cats got int'a my coat closet; dumbass got stuck on a shelf for reasons I'm still not real clear on." He pops open his medication bottle, tossing a pill into his mouth with a level of dexterity that makes her jealous. "The hollerin' was s'damn loud, I thought the landlord was gonna come knockin'."

"Which one was it?" Ava asks. "Not the new kitten?"

"No, no—Juno's been'a dream. It was Galileo again. I love that furry little bastard, but sometimes he can drive me nutty ." He pauses to take a swig from another glossy vacation mug. Today's is advertising a campground Ava's never heard of that's the best in the Rockies, according to the swirling font. "I got new pictures of Juno if you want 'em, though."

"Yes, please," Ava confirms happily. Holding the teacup-sized ball of fur made her whole month when he last brought Juno in. Hannah ended up hogging most of the cuddle time, but the sound of little meows filling the day had been enough to make up for it.

Wyatt pulls his phone from his back pocket and brings it around to hook up to the holo. The system dings with the sound of a successful transfer after a moment. He loads a collection of new photos, zeroing in on one of Juno clawing her way up a window curtain—

The power to the lab shuts off with a loud, electric click. Everything plunges into darkness with the privacy setting on the glass walls keeping the sun out. It comes back on before Ava can react, the building's primary system switching to the emergency power grid. She and Wyatt lock eyes in panic.

"Oooh man, boss, did I just—"

"I'm sure you didn't," Ava comforts, trying to push down her own panic. It helps that she's heard Tony rambling about the work he's put into making this place indestructible. "JAR?" 

There's no response from the AI. She trades another nervous glace with Wyatt.

"I know it was probably the Nazi shit, but I'm hoping it was the cats," Hannah says, sounding sincere. "I feel like that'll make a much better story."

"Oh my god, did I break JAR?" Wyatt looks between them frantically. "How often does he back up his servers? Did I kill'a piece'a JAR?!"

"I have not been murdered," the AI confirms after nearly a minute of being gone. "The safeguards reported a false positive regarding the programming of Sergeant Barnes' cybernetics. It has been handled."

Ava gives the hologram wall of code a warry look. "Handled by you?" There's a suspicion building in her gut around his phrasing, one that she's not planning on letting out of her teeth. 

"Mr. Stark has a protocol in place that cuts off my servers in the event of any irregular activity. Given the nature of the programming's origin, the system is designed to er on the side of caution."

"That's a really fancy way of dancing around the point, JAR." She's trying to stay civil about this. It's not an easy venture, and she's pretty sure it's not translating at all. Even she can hear the frustration in her voice. "How about we cut the shit, and you tell me what the false positive was."

"There are automated routines running for Sergeant Barnes' implants. They are not harmful; I've taken the liberty of checking them personally now that they've been cleared through quarantine. I am creating a stable update to forward to—"

"How long have they not been harmful, JARVIS?"

Hannah sits up from her relaxed position at the avoidance of their favorite nickname for the AI. Wyatt's brows pull in nervously, his eyes never leaving Ava. They both know exactly what she's digging at.

There's a long hesitation from JARVIS. Short by normal social standards but an eternity for a sentience with quantum processors. "There is not currently a risk posed within the Sergeant's—"

Ava's out of her chair and halfway to the door before he even finishes the omission. Fueled by some of the most intense rage she's ever felt in her life, she marches out on swift feet. She's going to kill him. She's going to string him up—maybe hang him off the side of the tower.

America's fucking Sweetheart, her ass. America's Doomed Liar is a lot more like it.

"Where is he," Ava nearly growls, still stalking down the halls, leaving the medical wing in a hurry. "JARVIS, I know you're still listening; you tell me where that puffed-up, hypocritical—oooh , you tell me where Rogers is right the fuck now. And then you tell me where Stark is—"

"Dr. Ryder, I know you're not inclined to believe this at the moment, but I assure you—"

"You're right; I'm not inclined to do that at all." She takes a deep breath as she passes through the front entrance, slowing herself to a stop. With genuine effort, she pushes down her anger. "I don't want to keep yelling at you. I don't like doing it in the first place. If you don't want to tell me where they are, I'll find them myself."

Ava heads for the elevator to do just that. She's not expecting a response as she pounds the side of her fist against the button for the Datacrux's floor. It's likely to be her best bet to find any of them. There's not a chance in hell that she's letting her team dedicate any more time to this until she gets some fucking explanations.

Halfway along the ride up, the light around the button goes dim. A flash of anger rises in her until she sees the one for the executive level illuminate. 

"Mr. Stark is not currently in the tower, but you will find Captain Rogers and Sergeant Barnes debriefing in the Situation Room," JARVIS informs her over the elevator's intercom, making the SHEILD agents around her pretend not to look over. She's tempted to ask them if it's the outfit.

"Thank you, JAR," she offers as an olive branch. Regardless of what's truly going on here, she doubts the AI is all that comfortable with the subject.

"You're welcome, Ava."

She's only been to this part of the tower once before. Tony dragged her up to the Avenger's balcony for a party after her divorce was first finalized. That's about the extent of her experience with this section. It's not hard to find her way with everything denoted like it is in the rest of the building.

The palm of her hand smacks against the door marked Situation Room, and she shoves it open aggressively. Both super soldiers, the Falcon, Black Widow, and a scattered group of SHIELD agents stare back at her in surprise. It doesn't slow her down any.

Ava points an irate finger at Steve in the uneasy silence of the room. "Unless New York just caught fire, you and I are about to have a very blunt conversation, captain."

"Hiya, doc." Bucky, unsurprisingly, is the only one in the room smiling at her while she glares daggers at Captain America. He's still in his not-uniform. There's still blood on it. The charm he's throwing her way reminds her that they won't want an audience. 

"I'm going to ask the rest of you to leave," she continues, but her eyes stay on the sergeant as her finger lowers. "I don't think you'll want to be here for this, Bucky."

"What makes you think I don't wanna watch you beat up my best friend?" He leans back in his chair, his hands coming up to rest on his stomach as his smile deepens.

"Can I stay?" Sam asks, his voice eager. It's a damn shame this is how she gets to meet him. She doubts the Falcon has any clue about unethical research.

"Come on," Natasha insists with a serene nod in Ava's direction, grabbing Sam's shirt to drag him up from his chair. "You heard her."

"I—hey!" Steve looks so insulted as he watches his friends and various coworkers abandon him with zero hesitation. "You're just gonna—I don't even know what I did!"

"Neither do I, but I am very ready to hear about it," Bucky assures Ava, not an increasingly distressed Steve.

Ava taps her foot impatiently as the room clears out, leaving her alone with the super soldiers. She ignores the nerves radiating off of one of them and focuses on the one that looks delighted. "I'm serious. This is about your case. Specifically, the work HYDRA was trying to finish."

The mirth leaves Bucky almost entirely. His posture doesn't adjust from its reclined position. "Alright. Tell me what's got you livid about it."

"Steve here made me a promise that was broken in my lab a few minutes ago."

Steve's eyebrows pull in with confusion. "Which promise? Wait—a few minutes ago—Is this about that blackout? Ava, catch me up here; what the hell is—"

"You swore to me that the intention of HYDRA—at least where Bucky's case is concerned—was to make an army of super soldiers, nothing more." She's letting him process this one step at a time. It'll make yelling at him for lying a lot easier. That, and she's honestly worried the technophobe doesn't understand the gravity of the situation.

"I—" Steve hesitates, and she watches the switch to tactical assessment come over him. It's startling to see it directed at her from a face that isn't Bucky's. "As far as I know, that was the intention."

"Yeah? You're sure about that? You're sure you're not omitting something pretty fucking important to my job, Steven?"

"JARVIS, what was the blackout?" Bucky questions at half the volume he started at when she first came in.

Ava points at the sergeant insistently. "See? I'm guessing he doesn't even know, but he's sure as hell already on the right track."

"There was an incident regarding the coding found in your implants, Sergeant Barnes. It has been handled. I have prepared an update to their systems whenever you're ready to undergo a transfer."

"As your doctor, I'm ordering it. We can go back to my office after I'm finished ripping your friend a new asshole for lying to my face." Her eyebrows lower at Bucky in indignation. She's doing this for him, but that doesn't mean she's going to let him off the hook if he knew. "We should probably figure out if I need to do the same to you before we get there."

"Hey, hang on now." Steve raises one hand, likely to try to calm her, but changes his mind and puts it back under the table. She's guessing someone's finally clued in the out-of-time man about that practice making women want to throw something. At his head. "We might not always be able to talk about classified information—something you agreed to, I might add—but I've never lied about HYDRA's intent as far as I comprehend it. I've been very careful to hold up that end of our deal."

"Let me tell you how I know, for a fact, that someone involved in this case is doing a piss-poor job of lying to me about it. Since you haven't quite figured out modern tech, I'm going to try to keep it simple." Ava points a far less aggressive, more instructing finger at Bucky's arm. "In order for that hunk of metal to work, it needs to be programmed. The hardware needs software that can tell it how to read brain signals. A few decades ago, some Nazis sat in a room and wrote a bunch of code for that software. That's what was supposed to be in Bucky's implants. That's all that was supposed to be in Bucky's implants."

"Wait—what the hell else is in them?" The flicker of fear that creeps into Bucky's expression breaks her heart. There's not a doubt in her mind that he could sell her on any lie he wants to with his mind set on it. That's the point of infiltrators like him. 

But Ava's willing to bet everything she's got in this world that the fear in him at the moment is genuine. He doesn't know. And it makes her feel awful.

"Given the size of your implants, I'm guessing not much," she tries to reassure. "We can always purge whatever is there later. However, if the code were as simple as 'read this signal, do this thing,' it wouldn't have been flagged as untouchable by Tony's security measures. The ones put in specifically to prevent JARVIS from being corrupted." She crosses her arms over her chest in exasperation, her eyes moving to one of the small security cameras on the ceiling. "Would you like to explain to the captain what kind of code it would take to accomplish that, JARVIS?"

There's another human-length moment of hesitation from the AI in response. "It would take adapting code."

"The part he's holding back—definitely because he's under orders not to break SHIELD protocol—is that something has to be driving the adaptation. There is such a thing as self-adapting code; that would absolutely explain it. If we weren't talking about something made in the 40s when HYDRA needed entire warehouses just to house a few terabytes of data." She glances over at Bucky. "While I'm sure the agents you scare the piss out of would disagree, your head isn't actually big enough to hold that much."

"You flirtin' with me to stop the panic or to apologize for not being Canadian for a minute?"

Ava blinks in surprise, the slightest hint of heat coming up the sides of her neck. That—she hadn't been—well. Steve's head turns to him, his eyebrows raising in mild shock.

Bucky clears his throat, then tries for a quiet chuckle, his eyes floating between her and the table. "Sorry—it's this damn room. Puts me in sergeant mode, makes me—let's get back to yelling at Steve."

"Thanks, asshole, I appreciate—"

"What makes you think I won't yell at you just because I'm Canadian?" Ava counters, finally recovering. "You trying to stereotype me, Barnes?"

The relief that comes off of Bucky is palpable. "I'd go for the hippie thing first if I was trying to do that."

"Didn't you sleep through the McCarthy era?"

"HYDRA gave me the long and short of it between naps."

Her hand flies up to her face to block a loud snort. Damn him, this is serious. But she's not about to begrudge him the gallows humor. She lowers it again while he smirks at her. "Do you mind? I'm trying to make an angry but valid point here."

"About a bunch of code that my head isn't big enough for," he continues for her dryly, one hand coming off his stomach to gesture up at it.

Ava sighs, the amusement from getting sidetracked by the Brooklyn heartstopper fading fast. "Not big enough by the standards of the 40s. By today's standards?" Her head tilts to the side sadly, readying herself to watch that fear in him get more substantial. "You tell me, Buck. Did the Nazis work in the mindset of single projects, or did they work in the mindset of generations that would lead a global empire?"

The words are the last piece to complete the puzzle in Bucky's mind; Ava can see it happen in his eyes. The expression of horror it yanks out of him will haunt her for the rest of her days. "Zola." 

It's said in a whisper, and Ava's not even sure what the word is. 

It takes Steve longer to reach whatever conclusion Buckys come to, and he looks resistant to the idea at first. "No, that's... no—Buck, you've been to what's left. You know what it took—"

"That's the point she's making, stupid. Look at how small everything's gotten." He stops, and Ava doesn't miss the sight of a hard swallow. "It makes sense. Think about it. It makes sense. They took care of the car until they could find an engine that fit. I was the prototype. Or—was going to be, at least."

The comparison—the one he's using on himself—is revolting. Accurate, but astoundingly revolting. She pushes past it, leaning down to tap a condescending nail on the table. "Hi, there. Still here. Still looking for some answers. What the hell is Zola?"

With Steve watching him like a hawk, Bucky breathes a long, tired sigh. "Not what. Who." 

"I can fill her in," Steve offers to him quickly. "You don't have to do this."

"Oh, I'm not doing shit. She's going to do it all." Bucky locks eyes with Ava, his expression passive. Having the Winter Soldier himself that focused in on her makes her breath catch involuntarily. "How's your Russian, doc?"

"I don't speak a word of it. Do I need to for this?"

"No, I'm sure you've got plenty of ways to translate anything you feel like reading. You should look up doveryai, no proveryai while you're at it." He leans forward, resting his arms on the table. His eyes never once move away from hers. "JARVIS, transfer a copy of my archive access to Dr. Ryder. Full permissions. And the next time she asks you a hard question, you don't have to bullshit her. Tell her to call me."

—

April 6th, 2015

"I want you to bring me with you next time."

"No."

"Is that a no because you do not agree or because you are afraid of mother?"

"Both."

Shuri frowns at the security feed, ignoring the quiet laughter she can hear coming from Nakia on the other end. "Coward."

The camera mounted on T'Challa's dashboard shakes as he turns it back to his face, his expression annoyed. "Say that to my—"

"Coward."

T'Challa rolls his eyes and turns the camera back around as Nakia laughs harder. He will be mopey now, for sure. "I am not taking you to stare at a soldier's office with us."

"Why not?"

"To start with, I refuse to be trapped in a car with you for that amount of time."

"You should be so lucky! Now, what is the real reason."

"What part of royal family do you not—"

"You get to go to these things."

"And when you leave your lab long enough to learn to use the spears of your foremothers, that privilege can extend to you."

"Okoye is always ready to teach you, Shuri," Nakia offers up diplomatically. 

"I do not need a spear to sit in a car annoying my brother," Shuri argues. They always do this to her. She is tired of it.

"You do not need to sit in a car annoying your bother at all." The moping has already started. She can hear it in T'Challa's voice.

"Fine. I will go to Ava's house and stay there while—"

"No."

Shuri slams her hands down on her desk, making the various instruments on it rattle precariously. "She is my family, too!"

There's silence on the other end in the wake of her anger. Then the camera turns again, this time by Nakia's hand. She doesn't stop the spin until it's pointed to show her and T'Challa. He does not look as annoyed anymore. He looks guilty.

Nakia gives her a sympathetic smile. "No one is trying to take that from you. We are only trying to keep you safe. We do not know how far Alec is willing to take things."

"And I am not willing to present the man with more temptations of power," T'Challa adds, the guilt on his face shifting to resignation. "It is not simply because I am afraid of our mother. I agree with her. And with our father. Alec Harlow is a man that is losing everything. That is a powerful motivator, Shuri."

"I am not afraid of that spineless demon," Shuri insists angrily. "I could handle him myself, thank you very much."

"Half the school children in Wakanda could," Nakia mocks under her breath.

She gets a stern look from T'Challa before he focuses it on Shuri. "It is not his strength we are concerned with. It is the allies he can call upon at any time. Men with strength and resources that we do not wish to deal with."

Some of the fight leaves her. Not much, but it does ebb. Her brother might be an idiot, but he is right about this. Ava would not be this afraid for no reason. She has been trying to disguise it when Nakia brings her for visits, which is how Shuri knows it is serious.

"I hate that man, brother." The word is far too inadequate. The contempt she holds for the worm who put fear in the heart of her favorite mad scientist feels immeasurable.

"As do I. As do we all." T'Challa smiles at her finally, his face softening. "I promise to bring you to hit him if he is ever arrested. That is when I will deem it safe enough."

"How many times?" she chases after quickly. "Can I bring a weapon?"

"You can bring exactly one weapon. Can you guess what it is?" The smile turns sarcastic as he reaches out and turns the camera back around to face Alec's office window. 

"I do not need a spear to break that man."

"No, you need it so I can stop being lectured by Okoye for enabling your avoidance of tradition."

"That will not help. She wishes for me to sit through her lessons. I would just bring the spear to hit him over the head with."

Nakia laughs, the sound light and soothing. "I am surprised you did not go straight for the idea of skewering him."

Tilting her head down at her desk, Shuri hesitates. She picks up the ridiculous coffee mug Ava got her, spinning it around in her hands with somber movements. 

Ava's last visit had been especially hard to stomach. The woman had looked so... empty as she talked about the start of the divorce. There had been no vengeful joy in her as she told Shuri's father she understood the gravity of the situation. No hard-won victory in her posture. There had only been grief and shame.

Shuri sighs, turning away from the screen to head for her lab's kitchen. She is going to fill the mug with one of the teas that Ava brings her. It will be a nice change from the energy drinks she has been binging. "No. I... I do not wish the man dead. I only wish to see him locked away somewhere he can never smile again."

—author end notes—

there’s one sentence in this chapter that is 14 words long (including contractions) that is the entire foundation of their incoming dom/sub and oh my g o d when i tell you that shit was cathartic to write 😫🤌 some day when this is finished, im gonna write a whole goddamn dissertation on that one sentence and all the narrative shit that tied into it in this fic so help me (YOURE ALLOWED TO GUESS BTW)

anyways, everyone is alive in wakanda bc i said so. and nakia and t’challa are really stupid uber mega important to ava’s backstory

i feel like we’ve all, as a species, Been Through Enough. you can talk my ear off abt anything, but dont talk to me abt the opening of wakanda forever i will Literally Die, i havent cried that hard over the first watch of a movie in so fucking long and i dont think im strong enough for a second. all i ever need for binging is winter soldier and black panther anyhow (FATWS is still growing on me and i only like it so far bc im a sambucky shipper. and a stucky shipper. and a 3 musketeer shipper. and a—i like making buckaroo be in love a lot. lets just. leave it at that). we can stop with the big owies thanks. let me escape to the fictional world where everyone is alive and Nothing Hurts, t h a n k s.

well. okay. some things are gonna hurt in this. probably really super bad too and youre gonna be really really mad at me when it hits. but like. theyre set up for comfort pay off so does it even really count??? i didnt think so, ty for agreeing 😌

ily 💖 tyty for reading 💞 and tyty in advance for yelling at me when i eventually hurt u ❤️🥰 i will understand, its okay, u are entitled to the emotional compensation on that one

[mikiruma]

actually wtf is going on in the replies of the breaking bad post we reblogged earlier???? do people think breaking bad is a show about our good buddy walter white who was thrust into an unfair situation and was rewarded for killing people????? sorry to drop spoilers for a show that ended 9 years ago but

heres just a short list of things i can remember he did off the top of my head

rejected payment for his treatment out of pride/resentment for the old friend offering (who was a BILLIONAIRE)

got into meth without really any prompting (yes he was desperate but you could argue he could have done literally anything else in his position instead of stew quietly and fuck around in the desert)

kills/severely injures 2 people the second time cooking ever

(throughout the show) manipulating/gaslighting his wife, his lab partner, anyone he thinks he has an inkling of power over

when his meth empire as he knows it crumbles he starts working with actual white supremacists

one of which shoots/kills a child in front of him, which he defends

literally nearly every scene of him and jesse interacting

indirectly caused the universe's "9/11 two" (by watching/letting the daughter of the air traffic controller who took responsibility die) (the daughter happening to be jesse's gf at the time)

at a school assembly addressing this he essentially told the student body & faculty (many of which were directly affected by the tragedy ie property damage via plane/body parts or severe emotional trauma from witnessing) to "get over it"

poison's jesse's new gf's son to manipulate jesse into killing their boss, who they don't like admittedly but jesse isn't an overzealous idiot

literally every scene where he tells skyler "you dont know WHAT ive done for this family... to protect us..." literally nobody asked you to start cooking meth and terrorizing people

ok on god this show is designed to make you sympathize with him early on bc hes sad and desperate and trying to be a strong brave man but he gets so gradually unlikeable and is continuously punished and doesnt understand WHY bc he was BADASS and BUSINESS IS BOOMING and honestly i cant give you a specific point when i personally stopped rooting for walt bc i've been rewatching slowly and just always knew he was a shithead but i WILL say it is extremely apparent when, in the beginning, he cries abt how he does it to secure a future for his family & keep them out of medical debt and even originally has a set dollar amount goal! but in early s5 he calls $5mil 'pennies' and even before then its extremely obvious it hasnt been about the family for a long ass time, hes no longer interested in securing a future, hes trying to flex his wealth (NOT EVEN BOTHERING WITH MONEY LAUNDERING UNTIL S4?????) and "prove" how much of a hero he can be to his family who never asked him to do any of this.

this show is awesome bc you get to watch a guys joker arc set in over the course of a year or so and he sucks SO BAD. it literally shows how the nightmare medical industry drives people to desperate measures. it shows toxic masculinity and the problems with the nuclear family mindset/image and a wonderfully awful demonstration of how pride can rot you. seeing ppl say they wont watch the show because it touches on those themes at all, being completely dismissive of how theyre examined or what the point in all of it is, is really fucking weird. i dont mean to sound like a married middle-class white man in a mid-life crisis who thinks he's walter white and would kin him if i knew what that meant (and was simultaneously too cool for comic books so i cant relate to the joker at all) but this show is fucking cool and i have just witnessed the other side of the fanbase revival, which is 'people who have never seen it who think they know what its about posting their opinions online and it hurts my little autistic brain'

[millenialfanfictionaddiction]

Go Go Karasuno: An Old Rival (Pt 2 )

THIS FIC IS 18+

Warnings: swearing

Word Count: 7,000+

A few days had passed since the practice match. You hated to admit it, but you thought about Keishin often. 

He looked good.

Really REALLY good.

Like better than high school good.  He always looked nice but it was overshadowed by his complete desire to be an utter ass.

You sighed as you finished up a few emails to send off before you took your grandma to the hospital to visit your grandfather.

He was set to be discharged in a few days and then you would start the process of moving them to the elderly community. You had taken your grandmother to visit him daily as she would often have make him meals. He hated the hospital food. He said the flavor was lacking.

You had to laugh. The man had only ever eaten your grandmother's cooking since they married at a young age. He often complained or refused to eat any other food because it was never was good as his wife’s cooking. 

You had to agree. Your grandma was an amazing cook.

You arrive at the hospital with your grandma in toe. She says her hellos to the staff as they all reciprocate the greetings. Your grandma was a complete sweetheart. She was loved and adored by everyone. She always helped when and where she could, volunteering wherever she was needed. You're actually surprised your grandfather managed to charm his way in to her life.

Your grandfather was a rowdy old man. Literally the opposite of your grandmother. He could be bitter and always liked a good argument. He was never outright mean to people, just very outspoken and upfront. He was a lot to handle.

You exit the elevator carrying the box of food your grandma had prepared. She told you she was preparing a meal for your grandfather's roommate as well. She said the man was just as insatiable as your grandfather. You imagined they were quite the duo.

As you round the corner you start the head arguing. You eyes widen as you realize it's coming from your grandfather's room. 

 Your grandma just smiles as she shakes her head knocking lightly at the door.

"Yeah yeah" a voice shouts. 

 You both enter as you begin to observe the sight before you eyes.

Your grandfather and his roommate are watching volleyball on the small TV in their hospital room. Shouting at the apparent bad plays.

"Anyone could have hit that set with their eyes closed" your grandfather shouted "what is that spiker doing?"

"He's just a weakling like all the others" the other man shouted "that wouldn't be happening under my coaching."

You roll your eyes and smile. Man these two were made for each other.

Your grandma slowly starts to unpack and plate the food she made for both the men. They continue to watch the game as your grandma hands them the food.

"Dont worry dear I packed enough for everyone" she smiled as you observed all the food. The box was heavy that you carried in but you didn't think there was an entire week's worth of food there.

"By everyone did you mean the entire hospital gran" you giggle as she laughs.

"Oh Y/N" your grandfather says as he looks up from his meal for a second "this is my roommate. You might know his grandson. I think he went to school with him."

The other man grumbled "I apologize if you do know him, the weakling."

You smile as you chuckle "Well sir its nice to meet you, I'm Y/N"

The older man turns to you smiling "oh I know who you are sweetheart, I'm Ikkei Ukai"

WHAT DID HE SAY?

You were about to speak when a knock sounded.

"Yeah yeah, what is this grand central in Tokyo?" your grandfather huffed as the door opened.

"Just came to check on my fav-" Keishin spoke as he entered, shutting the door and turning around.

His eyes were met with yours. He gulped as the two older men and older lady looked at you both.

"Y/N, I didn't know you would be here" Keishin says as he lifts his head to the back of his head.

"I told you last week my roommate had a granddaughter your age" Ikkei spoke sharped tongue.

"Well you didn't mention here name!" Keishin glared at his grandfather.

“You didn’t ask” Ikkei huffed as he turned his attention back to the game as Keishin placed his hand over his face.

You giggle at the circumstances. 

This all had to be a joke right? No way this was coincidence!

"Ah Keishin it's so good to see you again" your grandmother says breaking the awkward silence "here have a plate"

"Oh you as well ma'am" he said bowing "thank you ma'am but I'll have to pass I’m just stopping by quick"

"Sit down you idiot the women made great food" your grandfather shouts at Keishin as you chuckle.

Your grandmother makes him a plate as he settles in by you at the spare table in the corner. Your grandmother sits beside your grandfather as he kisses her forehead. You smile as you watch them, all while Keishin watches you.

"Your grandfather and mine are one in the same" he says trying to break the silence.

"Ha ha yeah you can say that again" you say smiling as you eat.

"I honestly didn't know your grandfather was his roommate" he says.

"Well you probably wouldn't. They are my mothers parents so we don't share the same last name" you say looking down at your plate.

"You know, it was really great to see you play again Y/N" Keishin smiles at you.

You look up smiling back "Thank you. It was a lot of fun. You really have some great kids."

"Kageyama and Hinata couldn't stop talking about your sets. Kageyama said they were almost perfect" he said taking another bite

"Well I wouldn't say perfect. They can always use improvement" you say pushing your food around the plate.

"Give yourself more credit Y/N. You really are a great setter. I always thought so" Keishin says as he stares at you.

You laugh ironically "is that why you were always such an ass to me then?"

Keishin sighs "yeah I was an ass but it wasn't because you weren't good. I was stupid high school kid"

You sighed as you look to his smiling "I guess we've both changed a lot"

Keishin smiled softly at you as you take both plates and disguarded them in the bin.

"I'm going to step outside for a minute" you speak, kissing your grandma on the forehead.

"I'll come with you" Kishin says as you begin to walk outside

The silence is awkward. Neither of you know what to say to each other. It's like your years of high school rivalry has been reduced to this weird state of unknown.

"Look Y/N" keishin starts.

"Keishin" you interject "we both changed. It's ok. I'm not mad at you anymore."

That wasn't completely factual nor completely a lie.

You didn't hate Keishin.  In fact, thinking about it, you never really did. You admired the man but he annoyed you to no end. He was always better than you and you were jealous.

Keishin threw his cigarette as he walked towards you "Y/N I want to apologize."

You look at him with narrowed eyes "for what?"

"Well one for being a complete jerk back in high school" he proceeds.

"Jerk is an understatement but continue" you say smiling.

He laughs awkwardly "Listen Y/N can I at least make it up to you?"

You fold your arms "ok and how Keishin? It's not like we can go back in time and you can not mess up my serves" you spit as he looks towards the ground.

"Y/N please" Keishin says "my grandfather was right, I was a weakling back then. I was jealous of you. You had such talent and well, I enjoyed getting a rile from you. I know it was immature but it was the only way you'd talk to me."

“Wait what” you think as you try to process what he was saying

"I always admired you Y/N. You were a great captain and a fantastic setter. You worked so well all the players on your team. I honestly was a bit jealous" he continues as you state at him confused.

Keishin was jealous? Of you?

You say the only thing you can properly formulate "Well Keishin you sure had a hell of a way of showing it! You pissed me off, annoyed me to no end and now you tell me you were jealous?"

Keishin stares at your outburst.

"Keishin I apologize for yelling but it just seems unreal to me. I spent all of high school trying be as good as you and now your telling me you looked up to me? It just seems unreal" you say as you sit on the bench.

"Y/N" Keishin sits down in the other side of the bench "I know I was a complete jerk. I honestly didn't know it bothered you so much. I was a punk ass kid who was just trying to be someone. But I now realize I hurt someone who really meant a lot of me."

You look up from your hands to see Keishin with a soft smile on his face.

"Well this is awkward" you say as you stand up. You were never great with upfront feelings and awkward silences.

"Y/N please" Keishin says as you start to walk back to the room "Please just let me make it up to you. Let's have dinner. I promise. Just hear me out"

You sigh knowing the conversation was unavoidable. It wasn't that you didn't want to have dinner with Keishin, it's just that you still reeled from your past.

Maybe you were being petty and it seemed like Keishin had changed but were you really ready to admit that? Were you really ready to move on from a grudge you held for almost 10 years?

"Where" you sigh in defeat.

"Huh?" Keishin looks to you with question.

"Where and when" you look back at him with a less than eager face.

"How about Friday night? My families store?" Keishin shouts a little too enthusiastic.

You chuckle at his response "ok but I swear of you start shit I'm going to pelt a volleyball right at your forehead"

He laughs "there's the Y/N I remember"

You push him playfully as you both walk back into the hospital heading to your grandfather's room.

You enter the floor as you both hear loud shouting. You look at each other and take off running towards your grandfather's room. You bust open the door with Keishin on your heals as you see your grandfather on the floor and your grandmother holding her mouth.

"I'm fine I'm fine just got a bit worked up" he says.

Keishin moves to help your grandfather as you console your grandmother.

"Grandpa really? Getting worked up over volleyball?" You spit at him.

He glares at you "you're one to talk Y/N!"

Keishin’s eyes widen as you glare holes on your grandfather's head. He chuckles at your response.

"Oh Y/N it's about time you forgive the boy, it's been almost 10 years" your grandfather says

"Dont forgive him so easily Y/N" Ikkei interjects "make him work for it"

Keishin glares at his grandfather as he chuckles with your grandfather and they continue watching the game.

You and Keishin both sigh as you smile softly towards one another. 

You're night out with Keishin approaches faster than you hoped. Honestly you were really indifferent about the whole situation. You had to admit, Keishin had probably changed since high school. I mean the Keishin you knew would never coach a high school volleyball team.

Right?

[lovee-infected]

Hi hiiiiiiii!!!! I hope you dont mind if I make a request! I was wondering what would happen if yandere Azul and Riddle who is after an affectionate darling that comes up and tries giving them hugs and kisses but because they want to keep up to their rules/professionalism they tell her not to do that so instead she goes to others for affection and avoids getting affectionate with them cause she thinks they dont like it. Thank you! And sorry for the long request !💚💚💞💞

OMG this is amazing !

You don't get it , do you ?

Daily hugs , unexpected kisses , unendingly praising him with your sweet words until he blushes so badly , is it even possible to dislike you ?

He's been watching you way before you noticed him for the first time , how cute and sweet , weren't you ? Indeed you were , and that was why he needed the rules . Rules to protect you , his beloved rose and soon to be his darling

You laughed , you smiled , you loved , you adored , but that wasn't because of him ; it was your nature to love and to be loved in return . Which alsoBut included : Being loved by others else than Riddle

No wonder why you were always caught in large groups of friends , they all loved you . The love and affection you shared brought each and every of them to appreciate and cherish you . You loved everyone and were loved back by everyone , that wasn't right . No , not to Riddle

No matter how many friends you had , you always held a way greater level for Riddle . Friends can hug or bump heads , but can they...kiss ? The red head watching , you always noticed him around , wondering if he enjoys watching you at all , his expression was unreadable . Did he like you ? Dislike you ? What could that be ?

Riddle loved it . Being cherished , appreciated , hugged , kissed and loved , things he lacked all over his life . But something held him back from enjoying it , something that could steal you away from him at any time : If you could be this nice to him , you can be the same to anyone . Anyone

And you already did , didn't you ? The love you shared with the world...this held you back from being -his- darling . You had to be his and only his , what made those fools out there worthy of you ?

He is Riddle Rosehearts , the leader of Heartslabyul , the bringer of rules and justice . He must be the symbol of perfection , shouldn't he ?

That's why you as well needed to be , he needed you to be just as collected as he was . Perfection must always be equalized by perfection , right ? That's right . You had to be just as perfect as he was

" Don't laugh that loud " " Straighten your back " " Don't over use those casual words while speaking " " What are you doing ? You think it's right to kiss me right in front of everyone else here ? "

You had a lot to learn , a lot . "It'd be such a shame for me , the son of Rosehearts' family to be in relationship with someone as low cultured as you , (y/n) " He had told you . Yes , he's got no regret on any of his words . After all it's all for you , for your perfection

Soon it came clear to you that your standards didn't meet at all , continuing this relationship would end up in nothing more than Riddle looking down to you over and over , low key giving up on you every time you get any affectionate or emotional around him , making him have to tell you to act up your age and not like a twelve year old

Riddle wanted to take away your immaturity ,for you to be his worthy queen . He was doing it all for you , to be the best , the greatest . He wanted nothing but the best of you and yet...you decide to give up on him just keep your helplessly romantic self ?

Ah so that's how you want go play , right ? Leaving Riddle on his own just to go back to your friends ? To keep on laughing like an stupid child with other idiots out there like he has never existed ? Is this what you really wanted ?

He never hated your kiss , but he hated the thought of anyone else getting to have them . Even as your friends , your family , yourself

He wanted to make sure that you won't share any of your love with a single soul else than him, and all you do is to just leave him and gave the love -he- deserved to anyone but him ? No love , this isn't how we play

You entered his life by your won will but it doesn't mean that you can leave now that you want to , not anymore

If you don't behave as Riddle took it all soft on you , then he should have to learn you otherwise

You'd better play nice , dear . Even if you no longer do it for him , you may like to do it for your friends . This is his game and you must be following the rules . Break them , and it'll be of with their heads

Laugh as he says , do as he says , be as he says . Let everyone know that he's got control over you , so he can have control over everything

His weakness , his breakable part , not many get to see that side of him , but you did , didn't you ? You see how needy he actually is under that greedy figure which made him look nothing different from a monster

He's learned enough from the past and is sick of it , he'll do anything to make sure that he won't ever be any similar to the miserable child he once used to be. Never again . And the only way to remove his past picture from the whole world's perspectives was by creating a new one , a strong one , something to forbid everyone from taking the urge to look down to him because of his childhood

That's right , power is the answer . He needs to have power everything and everyone ; including you

You've never failed to melt his heart whenever you showed up . Your smile , your eyes , your voice . He adored each and every of them . He loved all of you

He didn't try to hold his feelings back at the very first , he openly accepted all your love and appreciation with pleasure , and didn't mind thanking you in return . Didn't matter how serious he was at work , he always kept his soft spot for you , regardless of where you were or who were watching

Everything was great until the -consequences- showed up :

" Look at how he's blushing , " " Man , he acts tough all the time but is a baby around (y/n) " " What does that face say ? (y/n) KISS ME ! Hahaha-"

How dare they , how dare they insult him like this ? Hasn't he suffered enough ? Can't he just be himself in front of the person he loves...?

What are they laughing at...

It was -you- who held him back from giving those assholes what they deserved , he backed up because of you , you didn't want it

But how long , for how long would he be able to put up with the eyes peaking (?) behind the two of you ? Seeing himself judged and laughed at because of you , because of revealing his soft spot

He , who was the infamous tricker of Octavinelle is now being looked down to as your doll , as someone in control

No No No , he won't allow this . Having you around shouldn't change him this way . He is still Azul Ashengrotto , and will always be . He was born to control , not to be controlled . Even if it was with you

' Yes , perfect . Laugh as I want , do as I want , be as I want '

He can't let his guard down even if it's for you . You are his beloved one , but goals come first : " Will you do this for me , love ? " He knows that you can't say no

You stand there watching how things change in reverse : the sweet and bright (y/n) who made Azul Ashengrotto go dizzy just with one kiss is now a silent , pretty doll standing next to him

He forbids you from calling him by first name in public , so you'll have to go with sir or his full name instead which isn't really pleasant

When you come to check on him after school , you'll have to wait until he's done working , which can even take you hours , but when he's the one to ask you out , even a minute of delay is unacceptable

You aren't happy with the way your sweet relationship ended up being this toxic but he isn't hearing a word of it . He just laughs it off asks you to stop being so dramatic . Continue to argue , and he'll go feral : " It's said that the sea witch once took away a mermaid's voice , wouldn't you be a lot cuter without that harsh mouth of yours ? "

It can't be said if Azul recognizes any of his toxicity or not , but he could see the slight changes occurring into your personality , and he couldn't help it . Doesn't it make you happy to see him being all great and respected ? He's doing it for you , after all . Both of you . Stick with him and be his lovable princess/prince . That's what he wants you to be

He was hopeful off all that cheerfulness of yours to fade away , and he thought that it was working . You were longer the loud and energetic (y/n) you used to be , all he can see is a grayish shadow left from the old , rainbow colored (y/n) . You don't run late for any of your dates anymore , and wait patiently until Azul is done with working . He can't be any prouder of how good you are doing right now except one thing ; one thing that really pisses him off : You no longer treat him the way you used to , even as the two of you are all alone . No kisses , no praising , no eye contact , nothing . As if you don't see him at all

Azul informs you that you need to tell him if there's anything bothering you , but all you do is to silently nod

He knows you better than you can imagine and it's pretty obvious when you're lying , better know that he absolutely hates it . He doesn't expect you to be any honest with him so he won't care to ask -you- what might be wrong

Following you around and having eyes to watch you is no big deal for him , having twins beside him makes it even easier

But what does he come to ? How can the reality be this bitter ?...

You , your old self . Your real self . Standing right there . Putting on one of those brilliant smiles Azul had missed seeing . Laughing with that angelish voice he hadn't heard in a long while . You being the real (y/n) he'd always loved are right in front of him , chilling with your friends . The same friends who laughed Azul off when he was going through the best of his days with you , the same guys who made him regret treating you like god/goddess you were to him , the ones who made you stop loving him , wanting him , seeing him . And yet here you are...? Giving up on him for them ? Just to get the chance to be with them again ? Don't you remember the pain they brought Azul ? Don't you see the monster they forced him to be ? Don't you see that it's all their fault..?!?

No, it's not . It's not just them . You as well are guilty . It was you who got him to this point , you stole his heart and he trusted you with the deepest of his secrets . He trusted you with his weaknesses . He trusted you... thinking that you'll remain by his side till the very end .You as well left him

Breaking his heart would end up in no good , so you'd better be prepared for a great punishment . You can't just walk into his life and then , walk away when you wish , Azul is no one to be played with like this

And if you too still find him weak just by knowing how soft he can be at some point , you'd better know that he can be just as cruel . He wants you back , and he'll have you back . The severity of your punishment is up to you , whether you want it to be soft , or not

[kindnessisweakness2]

Delusional - Part 9!

When Delaney woke up she didn't recognize anything around her. One thing she did know is she felt like she had been hit by a truck. Looking around her, the dimly lit room was empty apart from a shabby wooden table a few feet infront of her with a camera tripod placed in the centre. Looking down at the uncomfortable chair she was sat in she silently thanked god she was still in her shorts and Jax’s T-shirt she wore yesterday. As her head pounded painfully she tried to think back to yesterday and how the hell she ended up here. She couldnt remember anything after crying in the bathroom as Jax left. Jax. Oh God. He was probably hauled up with Tara making up for lost time. he probably didnt even know she was gone. Tears welled in her eyes as she realised no one was looking for her. No one knew she was gone. Before she could let herself panic too much the heavy steel door to the right of the room was slammed open. Out walked Kevin and Delaneys stomach dropped heavily. Yes Kevin was weird but he couldnt be the matermind behind this. NO. Delaney was 100% sure there was something else to this. She didnt have to wait long to get her answer either. A few minutes later Alex followed Kevin into the cold room with a video camera held tightly in his hands. Delaney Knew she was right. Her Jaw fell slack as she made eye contact with the man that ruined her life and nearly killed her. The man she was convinced for years she loved deeply. “Hey Babe, Did you miss me?” Alex smirked at the shock that was still clear on he face. “What? W-why? H-how?” Delaney could barley speak never mind stutter the small questions she do desperately wanted answers to. “Oh sweetie ill explain everything dont you worry. But first things first-” Alex raised his finger dramatically and turned to the video camera that now sat firmly on the tripod. Pressing the ON button and connecting a cable it beeped to life. “ I dont think your little Biker Bitch will want to miss out on this.” Before Delaney could say anything a chain was tightly hooked to the handcuffs around her wrists and yanked upwards. In seconds she was hung from the ceiling with her arms suspended above her head. Gasping in pain she clenched her eyes shut tightly. Her shoulders were on fire immediately and her toes barley brushed the damp floor. Glaring at Alex as he came to stand Beside her Delaney scoffed. “So whats the plan? Kill me? Send the video to the club? You know they’ll kill you right? You kill me and Jax will come for your head.” Alex burst out laughing and shook his head. “Oh Baby girl, you’ve grown some balls since you were mine.” Grabbing her face tightly he yanked her forward on the chain so she was closer to the camera. “This is being streamed to the Clubhouse as we speak. Kevin here managed to change the connection at the last beer delivery and you didnt even notice.” Tutting at her sarcastically Alex let go of her face and smiled at her. “Kevin here is a sucker for a pretty face. He fell for you pretty quickly. I find it quite rude you weren’t particularly nice about the gifts he left for you. The notes were me ofcourse. Poor Kevin here doesnt have the same artistic flare as me.” Alex’s smile was sinister as he turned from Delaney to take a Knife from Kevin. Delaney’s stomach turned as he made his way back towards her and grabbed her neck tightly so she couldnt flinch away. The grin on his face made Delaney feel sick as he cut the navy blue SAMCRO T-shirt from her body. She could only hope that whatever it was he had planned for her, he would kill her quick. 

The slamming of the clubhouse door hinted at Jax’s arrival. Half sack had called him to explain what showed up on the bar TV and within minutes every club member and Gemma was crowded around the large screen. Jax’s heart broke as his eyes locked on Delaney’s fearful ones. She was hung from the ceiling in nothing but a black lace bra and black cycle shorts. “So this is what you’ve been planning for the year we’ve been seperated? Finding me a stalker and planning your revenge?” Delaney spat angrily. Kevin stood in the corner just staring ad her as she was suspended half naked in the dirty room and it made her want to vomit. Jax turned up the volume on the TV just as Alex came into view. Looking at his mother Jax’s eyes were on fire with anger. “I thought you said he left her and moved back to England?” Gemma glared at her son. “ And i thought you were meant to be protecting her? You left her and the bastard swooped in and took her! I’m not the only one with some explaining to do am i?!” Jax shook his head and turned back to the screen. Now was not the time to argue with his impossible mother. He needed to focus on finding Delaney. He focused his attention back on the screen just in time to see Alex put the Knife to her neck. “You were mine. You really think i was going to let you go that easy? We would still be together if it wasnt for Jaxon Teller. You didnt care about me anymore once you met him.” Alex Gripped Delaney by the Hair and pulled her head back exposing her neck more. “You’re wrong! About everything.” Gasping in pain as strands of her hair were pulled out by the roots Delaney had to argue. She couldnt let him blame everything on Jax. “You’re just upset you lost your fucking punchbag! You beat me almost every day i was with you for nothing. The day i got that Job at Teller-Morrow was the day i got part of my life back. I wasnt just your housewife anymore. I had my own money and i was saving up to leave you.” Alex stepped away from Delaney his face crimson red with anger, But with tears streaming down her face she continued to tell him the truth. Her Truth. He needed to know just how much of a monster he was. “Then i came home late from a club party late, they’d asked me to work the bar, do you remember? How you accused me of sleeping with every member? How you told me the only thing i was good for was being passed around? That no one would ever want me?! Do you remember Alex? How you beat me so bad my eyes were swollen shut for days. How i was unconscious on our kitchen floor for 2 days. How you stomped on my chest the next morning and broke 4 of my ribs because i physically couldnt get up and make you breakfast! How you made me clean ourhouse on my hands and knees because i was in too weak, in too much pain to stand!” Alex scoffed as Delaney sobbed. “You fucking deserved it! You were sleeping with Teller behind my back! you just wanted to get rid of me so you could be with him. you never paid me any attention and hung around him like a desperate whore. You think i dont remember those times i came to pick you up from work to see you flirting with him right infront of my face. Laughing and Giggling like a teenage school girl! You were practically begging for him!” 

Grabbing hold of the chain Delaney was tied to he spun her around. Delaney knew what was coming next and couldnt help but squeeze her eyes shut in fear. “You didn't waste any time did you you bitch? you got his crow tattooed across your shoulders. Isn’t that how that sordid little club marks women as theirs?” Delaney stayed silent and hung her head as she felt Alex press the knife into the middle of her back where Jax’s initals sat underneath the black crow in flight that stretched across her upper back and shoulders. “Its not like that.” Delaney muttered as tears welled in her eyes. “Oh did he mark you as his then threw you away like the cheap little bitch you always have been? Poor Delaney, no one ever wanted you so you throw yourself at the first man that looks your way.” More tears fell from her eyes as she Shook her head, “You know NOTHING about him. He’s more of a man than you’ll EVER be. He’s a good person, Hes loyal and he would do anything for family. You? Youre a fucking coward.” Alex’s face was like thunder. Pulling the chain hard making her yelp in pain as she was quickly turned to face him he punched her in the face making her swing backwards. Feeling the blood run down her lips Delaney grinned as she met Alex’s brown eyes. “Point proven! You’ll put your hands on a woman but you’d never hit a man. As a Great friend of mine would say you’re a Slimy Wee Bastard.” Her heart clenched painfully as she thought of Chibs he was like a father to her and she wouldnt even get to say goodbye. 

Back at the Club house the other members of SAMCRO couldnt hide their shock at the revelation that Delaney had Jax’s Crow. “You marked her?” Clay nearly exploded. “You marked her as shes not even your old lady?!” Gemma didnt even jumped to her sons defence as Clay shoved Jax hard. “Its not like that. It just happened!” Jax didnt bother trying to explain. There was so much more they didnt know about his and Delaneys relationship. “But what if she wants to be with another guy? Maybe another member?” Jax lunged for the prospect at the thought of his girl being with someone else. “O-or E-even a-another guy. J-just a normal regular guy?” Juice smacked Half sack around the head for his stupidity as Opie pulled Jax back from ripping the prospect apart. “Can we please focus on trying to find her? Every minute she’s with that psycho is another minute we are closer to him Killing her.” Gemma refocused everyones attention back on the screen trying to find anything that looked familiar in the room. The needed to work out where this Idiot would take her. Jax mentally made one promise as he watched Delaneys terrified eyes. Once he had her safe in his arms. There was no way he was ever letting her go.

[babygirlthor]

i think i joined this fandom at literally the worst possible time.

this post has been a long time coming but i am currently irritated enough to actually post it so here we go

(under the cut because this just got WAY too long)

personally i'm here for the art, the angsty headcanons, the jokes and fic recs... but the negativity continues to run rampant. i want to see different ideas and interpretations but... it's like there isnt even room for that anymore.

being in fandom has always been a very strange experience for me because i don’t enjoy conflict. i don't mind that other people like it, but for me, it makes me feel sick to my stomach and if i can't fix it i have to avoid it. there always seems to be parts of fandom that love to argue, but it's usually not too difficult to sort through it all and find some people i enjoy interacting with. and i'd just find my little corner and stick to that. but lately... that doesn't seem possible.

and the few of the more chill areas of the fandom (that i've come across) revolve around shipping. which still has the usual discourse, don't get me wrong, but they also seem to stay in their pockets of people and ignore most of the other kinds of drama.

unfortunately for me, i dont have the desire to interact with shipping most of the time. so i'm stuck in this weird limbo that... is too long of a detour for this post so i'll leave it at that.

at this point i see so many conversations, even light hearted meta posts quickly turn to arguments. actual conversations and discussions are a rarity. people spend more time making fun of each other than actually discussing the material. the different 'sides' of the fandom seem to get further and further away and it seems like sharing a differing opinion is impossible. I know plenty of people love to argue but like.... first of all- okay, I really don’t care (tbch I didn’t even finish watching the show because it wasn't my thing) and i dont care to see it.

personally I think some of the concepts from the show are neat- even though i don't have a desire to finish watching it at this time- and applied to fic could be fun. but even that has become such a divisive topic.

putting that aside, I get that people are upset about the show. but sometimes i see posts from both so-called 'anti' and 'positive' sides of the fandom mocking each other. and at this point? what is this achieving?

~and there's just too much to rant about in one post so i'll just zero in on one very specific type of post that is currently bothering me~

i really hate to see people making fun of each other, especially behind their backs. (i want to point out: there's a huge different between 'this hc makes no sense and here's why i think it's wrong' and 'wow look at what these idiots think'. i'm not talking about the first one or general discourse rn, which is a whole other topic)

if one feels the need to repost something because they know OP wouldn't want to see it on their post... shouldn't that make one stop and think for a moment? there's zero constructive purpose for mocking someone, especially on a public platform where they could see it.

vagueposting doesn't always bother me, but sometimes i think... if you're really dying to talk about this, wouldn't it be more fitting as a private conversation?

and every time a post like that come across my dash, it makes me angry and uncomfortable and it's not even about *me* or something i relate to. why does one feel the need to do that? why do i have to see posts like this every week? and why is it encouraged and perpetuated as so many chime in with agreements? i guess it might feel cathartic in the moment, but is it really going to make anyone feel better? is it really worth it to push someone else down just for a few seconds of amusement?

and if something upsets you i get making your own meta (or rant) post about it. there's plenty of hc that upset me as well. but again, there is a HUGE difference from that and making a post, not about the actual topic and hoping for a discussion, but purely with the intent to mock someone.

and you know the worst part? a lot of the ones i see making these posts are the same people that complained about 'toxic positivity' fans mocking the fans that didn't like the show. and now they're turning around and acting the exact same way.

this is just my viewpoint and i don't expect anyone to agree with me on any of these points. and maybe there's some nuance to these posts i'm missing out on or i'm making this into a bigger deal than it is, but at this point intent is pretty much irrelevant (for me) because this continues to taint my experiences with the fandom.

[forsakenoathkeeper]

I Am Alive (chapter 5/?)

Deviant!Connor[RK800] x (fem!)Reader Rated M(18+) for canon-typical violence and gore, medical procedures, and graphic sexual content

Synopsis: You were a mechanical engineer, now a nurse for androids, who moved back to Detroit after the revolution to offer aid. After reconciling with an old friend, you became rather acquainted with his android partner.

Please support me on AO3 & thanks for reading ♥

Connor wasn't oblivious to what he was doing.

'Rogue' was one word that came to mind; but, that was a bit extreme all things considered. He wasn't acting against the police and he didn't intend to commit any crimes, especially heinous ones.

He was hunting the android alone, without clearance, without jurisdiction.

-not like this was the first time.

He had intel that the human detectives didn't have. A good lot of them didn't respect him, some more obvious than others, and often disregarded his input on things. Of course, they were never hesitant to let him take the lead when dealing with dangerous individuals or gunfire.

Most of the time, it didn’t bother him.

Fowler saw him as a competent detective and needed the manpower, now more than ever. Hank trusted him with his life and stood up for him. That was all the recognition that Connor needed.

Having to work alone wasn’t all that terrible. He was faster, stronger, more capable of discretion... usually. He didn't have to worry about putting someone in danger or being slowed down. It also meant that he could-

-bend the rules in ways that only androids were capable of.

The other detectives were hung up on the possibility that Evelin Wheeler was murdered by someone she had crossed in her days as a lawyer. Connor had found seven cases that ended with death threats. Three of those cases, the plaintiffs or victims, were still alive and living in or near Detroit.

While other detectives were investigating those potential leads, Connor took to the streets to see if he could locate Robert. Maybe it was his programming talking; but, Connor was suspicious of the android.

Clouds were heavy and dark in the sky, the smell of approaching rain thick in the air. Connor was waiting outside of Haven in a nearby alleyway, perched up against a crate where he could duck back into hiding or lean out and see into the street.

He was standing near an abandoned warehouse that seemed to have suffered structural damage at one point, rubble having collapsed into the plot nearby. The towering structure was an eyesore and provided good cover for the detective. It was also across the street from Haven.

Connor fumbled with his coat pocket, fishing out a coin. He rolled it between his fingers as he waited.

You had been texting him, a very welcomed distraction from the monotony. Though, if Connor was being honest, waiting never bothered him. He couldn’t quite tell if it was because his android, a part of his programming, or just the way he was.

"u know u dont have to" was your latest message, popping up in the top right corner of his HUD. You had trouble getting your car started this morning and had taken a taxi to work. When Connor found out, he asked if he could give you a ride home.

"If I'm being honest, it is not just for your sake. I want to see you" he texted back.

It had been a little over week since he last saw you. Work had been hectic for you both, between countless damaged androids and Connor knee deep in multiple cases, one in particular that was rubbing him the wrong way. Even if he only got to sit in a car with you for thirty minutes, that would be good enough.

"i miss u too" your reply came in. Connor smiled at that and briefly pondered how to reply.

When people were 'an item', what did they do? Attending a restaurant together seemed to be the most common answer that came up in his searches; however, considering Connor did not require sustenance, and lacked the components to dispose of them, he couldn't eat.

Surprisingly, ‘drinking’ came up a lot, too. There was no way he was taking you to a sleazy bar. There were always clubs. Did you like that sort of thing? He didn’t want to make assumptions about your lifestyle. There was the added concern that Connor didn’t know if he could dance. He had never tried it before.

'Walks in the park' also came up in his searches; while Connor was not easily perturbed by the weather, you likely would find it far too cold outside. The local movie theatres were closed down temporarily due to the uprising, leaving that option out, as well.

He could invite you over to his apartment; but, what if you took that as an unwanted suggestion? He missed you in that manner, maybe more than he cared to admit; but, he didn't want to give the impression that it was all he cared about.

Connor's LED was blaring yellow as he internally argued with himself. He aggressively shifted his coin from one hand to the other and flung it high into the air with a flick of his thumb.

Humans did this - 'heads or tails' - so he tried it.

When it fell back down, he snatched it from the air, opened his palm and glanced down. The coin had landed on tails. Connor glared at the harmless nickel disk for not giving him the results he wanted.

Okay. Maybe he was thinking too hard.

-maybe he just needed to go for it.

"I want to treat you to something. If you would like that?" Connor messaged you.

Likely caught up in something, you didn’t reply immediately. So, Connor began rotating his coin again, rolling it between his fingers, flicking it back and forth between his palms. He had no idea where this quirk came from: if it was programmed into him or some bizarre string of code that manifested itself. He could do it without much processing power, making it rather relaxing.

"if you wanna? u dont have to do anything like that" your message popped up on his HUD some time later.

"Is it weird that I want to?" Connor messaged you back.

"not at all" you replied. He read it in your soft voice and found himself feeling bashful. He felt weird, like he wanted to do things for you - unnecessary things that you were perfectly capable of doing yourself.

"theres a park i loved as a kid. we can go when it warms up?" you offered.

"I would like that" Connor replied.

A thought came to him, something that he chided himself for: he had hoped for something he could do for you, now, not later.

But, then-

"until then i like ur apartment" immediately came in afterward.

Connor gawked at the message like an idiot for a moment or two before he snapped out of it. Maybe you had read his mind... somehow.

He had no need for a TV because he could get all the news on the interface in his processing unit. He didn't have a need for many dishes for obvious reasons and only bothered to keep the fridge plugged in in case Hank brought something over. His apartment was severely under furnished by human standards.

Suddenly, he wanted to change that.

"You are welcome anytime" he replied. "I'll make sure its warmer this time"

Your reply came fairly quickly; but, Connor didn't see it.

Movement caught his eye.

An android was approaching Haven, not that that was anything new. However, he dressed in a dirty hoodie and torn up pants, ankle-high work boots matching what Connor had seen in Evelin Wheeler's home, the correct height and stature for the model type seen in Louis’ memories.

Connor slid the coin back into his coat pocket and focused his optical sensors on the android. He couldn't get a good enough look from this angle to see into the propped up hood.

The detective waited outside while the other android crossed the threshold into Haven.

Markus wanted to do things the right way. Connor respected that.

It meant that he would inform Robert the police were looking for him and try to encourage him to speak with them. If he was innocent, that meant he had nothing to hide. But Connor knew that Robert would likely attempt to flee, even if he was innocent.

The android was inside the building for eleven minutes and some odd seconds before he stormed out the front and trotted down the street. Connor didn't waste any time taking up pursuit. The android had some haste to his steps, but wasn't running. Still, Connor knew he would lose him if he dawdled for a second.

Rain began to fall, beginning in gentle sprinkles that coated the concrete and asphalt in faint specs. Connor could feel the rain like gentle taps against his outer skin. It was useful: the noise made it harder to properly hear the sounds of their footsteps. That potentially risked the chance that Connor would lose Robert; but, it also meant he was less likely to be detected.

He needed an empty, quiet place where he could interrogate him. But, Connor also was well aware of the fact that he didn't have backup. If the android proved to be more dangerous than he anticipated, he would be alone and at great risk.

-again, this was nothing new.

Connor recognized the route Robert was taking. He was heading for the industrial district's harbor.

It wasn't abandoned. Factory work had resumed, albeit with struggles considering the android workforce had been lost. However, people were trying to return to normal life. They needed to; and so, the ports reopened and shipments starting to flow again.

The detective continued to stalk behind the android for miles, paying no mind to the fact that he was steadily growing farther and farther away from where he had parked his car, nor the fact that he was getting soaked by the rain.

When they arrived at the harbor, Robert took a path through a rundown building that was likely once a communication hub for a business that went under decades ago. It was longer than a direct route, but provided cover, less any of the human workers at the nearby plants spotted him.

In following, Connor realized that abandoned shipping containers were piled up outside. The rust and erosion patterns suggested they had been here a long time.

At the end of the row of containers, another building, a steel hub right at the edge of the water. Normally, these were open, designed to be for receiving and sending shipments, unloading. However, someone had taken the time to board it up.

Robert entered through a hastily cut out hole acting as a doorway.

Connor knew this was the end of the line. He was going to have to face Robert here.

He took one, careful step past the threshold, and realized there was an echo. That alone made it near impossible to continue sneakily. When Connor stepped forward, he felt something scan him. It was harmless, a perimeter censor: the kind of motion detector that could pick up android's serial numbers with a quick scan, and send alerts to the programmed android. It was, essentially, an intruder alert.

The detective turned his head to the adjacent wall. Sure enough, there it was, the size of a quarter, at head level, eyeing him.

He was intrigued that Robert had taken the time to setup defenses here. It wasn't particularly deterring, just a simple alarm that would prevent him from being snuck up on. Connor could hear Robert's shoes loudly squeak on the floor. He was pacing, probably deciding his next move.

Connor continued, turning down the hall and stepping into the main hull.

When Robert spotted him, he took a few steps back, maintaining distance between them. Connor took up a firm stance, feet shoulder length apart, arms crossed in front of him, hands cupped, like a soldier might stand.

"Why are you following me?" Robert called out, sounding more annoyed than anything else. The echo in the room was loud, creating an obnoxious tremor around them.

"I wanted to talk to you - ask you a few things," Connor replied calmly.

Robert was silent for a moment, eyeing Connor suspiciously. "You're the detective android," he said lowly.  "I heard stories...” Robert looked him up and down. “You're not as intimidating as I expected."

If that was intended to insult Connor, all it managed to do was make him curious. What kind of images had Robert conjured in his mind of the android detective?

"Why haven't you removed your indicator?" Robert asked in a manner that was almost taunting. "You think we're equal to humans, don't you? Why wear something that sets us apart?"

"It doesn't matter to me if people know I am an android," Connor answered, maintaining his passive tone. It wasn't entirely the truth. Sometimes, he wanted people to know he was an android. He was once frightened by the idea of deviancy; now, it felt like a badge of honor. Maybe, he was prideful: he was the first detective android to join the force, and the last and only of his model.

"You work for the humans - against us," Robert accused. “What makes you think you have any right to stand with us?”

"I don't work against androids. I work against murderers," Connor proclaimed. He could see panic flash behind Robert's eyes. But, the android was quick to compose himself. "-human or android," Connor added on.

Robert opened his mouth; but, Connor, growing tired of this pointless banter, decided to be direct.

"I'm here because I believe you killed Evelin Wheeler."

"Who?" Robert asked, his head tilting to the side. From his lack of concern, Connor couldn't quite identify if he was being sincere, or just didn't care.

"An elderly woman who was being cared for by an android," Connor elaborated robotically.

Robert shrugged. "What makes you think I did that?"

"I saw you harassing the android living with her," Connor answered, tone lowering.

Robert settled a firm glare on Connor. "Harassing? I wanted to help him be free."

Connor kept his stoic expression, eyes unyielding of his emotions, LED strong blue. "I'm glad you remember them," he replied lowly.

The detective could see some stress rise in Robert. He wasn't frightened by Connor. He was growing steadily more and more angered by him.

"Then, surely you-"

"He was delusional," Robert interrupted sharply, clearly insulted. "Called her 'family'. I had to help him. He was being controlled by that human. I set him free."

"He was free,” Connor corrected him. “You hate humans. That's what it is. It has nothing to do with justice.” He maintained his persona: a cold, calculating detective.

The other android didn't seem to like that word. "You still elevate them above us, you hypocrite!" Robert snarled. "Don't talk to me about justice."

"Human or android, you killed an innocent woman in cold blood," the detective said lowly, letting his stare darken slightly.

"Where's your proof?" Robert challenged.

"Your shoes match the impressions at the crime scene," Connor stated bluntly. "You also were seen harassing the family-" Robert twitched at the word. "-a week before the murder. That's enough circumstantial evidence to obtain a warrant for your memories for that night."

"Where's your w-warrant, huh?" Robert challenged, his voice faltering slightly. "Why am I not under arrest, yet? You have nothing!" Robert shouted, his voice echoing around the chamber.

Connor narrowed his eyes slightly. "742-11-904, you are under arrest for trespassing on private property-"

Robert suddenly shifted and charged at Connor. Being a unit designed for industry work, he was bigger than Connor, bulkier with a wider frame and greater weight capacity; but, Connor was agile, flexible, and designed for combat. He avoided his assault with ease, but wasn't able to counter. His back hit the wall and Robert continued down the hallway past him.

Connor took up pursuit, finding that Robert took a different path out. He chased him into the harbor, out in the open, where security lights shined down on them. Workers from a nearby plant were perched on a balcony on the second floor. Connor could hear their surprised murmurs, "what the hell - you see that shit?"

Chain link covered the edge of the dock to act as a barrier to prevent falls. Connor contemplated pulling his gun on Robert; however, trespassing wasn't an offense worthy of firing, and he had yet to obtain the warrant he needed for the murder case. Pulling his gun would have been a one-way ticket to suspension, or likely worse.

Robert wasn't made for this. Connor was going to catch up to him. The android likely knew this. He had to take a path that Connor wouldn’t follow. He climbed the chain link, reaching the top before Connor got to him, and dived over the edge, straight into the harbor. The splash was drowned out by the rain tapping on the metal roofs nearby.

Connor looked over the edge to where the dark waters lapped at the concrete platform. Naturally, he couldn’t see anything through the murky water. He sighed, placing one hand on the chain link to lean against it.

"Well, so much for that," he groaned to himself.

It was unlikely that Robert could stay submerged for long, even less likely that he would surface here. He wasn’t going to return to this hiding place, nor Haven. Connor would have to find him through other means.

The rain started to pick up, sprinkling morphing to heavy droplets. Connor's eyes adjusted to lighting, or lack of, naturally. He was too focused on finding Robert that he failed to realize the sun had set. The time was normally hidden on his HUD as it was intrusive, distracting. He didn't need sleep. He didn't need rest. He could theoretically go days without a break.

When he brought the time temporarily back into view briefly, he realized it was 7:17. Your shift ended at 7 tonight, and he had promised he would be there.

"Shit!" he cursed out loud, swiveling away from the fence.

As he trotted away, shoes making wet sopping noises on the concrete, Connor started a message, "I'm sorry. I'm going to be a little late".

Before he sent it, he realized that he had missed your previous message.

"hold u to eet" you had replied. It was in response to his promise that the apartment would be warmer next time. But, it also struck him as a painful reminder that you had placed trust in his ability to get you home safely, and in a timely manner.

The rain continued to pick up until it was pouring down, like tiny rocks pummeling his body. It didn't hurt, but it was exhausting. He had fucked up, twice. He failed to capture Robert and now he was delaying you.

Instead of sending that message, he decided to call.

It rang once, then twice-

"Oh - shit - are you here already?" you blurted into the phone as soon as you answered.

"N-no, I-" he stammered. "I'm going to be late. I'm sorry."

"Actually - that's fine. I got so caught up in this thirium shipment, I didn't realize what time it was," you explained, sounding out of breath. "I was afraid I was keeping you."

"I wouldn't have minded waiting," Connor replied, feeling some relief at your words.

"No - don't say that," you scolded gently. "Don't take bullshit from anyone, Connor."

"Ugh-" he stammered. Did he take bullshit from people? Maybe he did and he just didn't care most of the time. Was waiting for you bullshit, anyway? He didn’t need to sleep, afterall.

"Working late, too, huh?" you breathed into the phone.

"Field work," Connor replied lowly.

You chuckled into the phone. "You know I can take a taxi if you're-"

"No, I-" he interrupted sharply. "I want to see you. Please."

"Connor," you breathed into the phone.

His phone wasn't a handheld device. It was an interface build into his processor. He could hear you directly in his head. Even through the slight distortion created by radio signals, the sound of your voice still managed to do something to him. Maybe he underestimated how badly he missed you.

In the background, Connor could hear one of your coworkers, "ooooo - who's Connor?" teasing at you in a purposely obnoxious voice.

You laughed quietly. "My boyfriend," you answered.

My boyfriend-

For some reason, something as mundane as you telling people that, made him really happy.

There was some shuffling noises, likely you moving around and trying to balance something in one hand and your phone in the other.

"Is he cute?" a different voice asked this time.

Connor was prepared to eavesdrop on this conversation in full; but, after some loud shuffling, you came back, speaking into the phone properly. "I'm gonna let you go, now - get this finished up - oh shit it's raining - let me know when you're in the parking lot?"

"Understood," he replied automatically, a habit. Plus, if he was being honest, he was disappointed.

"-and don't stress about it, Connor-" you added on hastily.

Fuck that-

-as soon as you hung up, Connor was running to his parked car.

[lazychickensoup]

𝕊𝕖𝕣𝕧𝕖𝕣 𝕆𝕟𝕝𝕚𝕟𝕖

A Kenma Kozume Fic

Part 1, 2, 3, 4

———————————————————————

a/n: Since this is the first chapter it's kind of short. More like an introduction to the plot and such. It will be kinda quick and cheesy but I promise it'll get better lol. Enjoy~

warnings: mild language and mentions of toxic relationship

word count: 1513

——————————————————————

JUNE 7TH

"Damn you never listen do you Y/n! I told you that I had reserved us tickets to a game and you're not even ready. We have to leave in 10 minutes, get off the stupid game. Now."  I sighed looking up at my boyfriend. Turning my head back to my monitor and focused back on my game.  "Hello, do you hear me? Or are you talking to your other boyfriend that weird Japanese kid? You know-"

"Kenma."

"What?"

"His name is Kenma. You know that. Also, I'm not ready because I'm not going." I stated not looking away from the screen. "We always go out to where you wanna go. I do the things you like but the one time I ask to go somewhere you immediately deny it because you're not interested in it. Therefore, Dillion, I'm not going."  He stared at you in confusion. It took him a moment to process but then the light went off in his head.

"Are you talking about that Comic Market thing? Babe, one, that's in Japan-" I pause my game and mute my discord because little did he know Kenma was on with me building away at his cottage in Minecraft while listening to us two bicker.

"My mother already said it was okay she wanted to go as well so she could see the sights. It's summer so we it's not like I have to be back in time for school. This is the only big thing that I have ever asked from you and you dont even have to pay for it. I've saved up enough. I've planed where we can stay, where we can eat, everything. So, I'm going to tell you this. You're either in or out because I'm going whether you like it or not." I was now face to face with him standing my ground. I had been planning this for months, worked an exhausting amount of hours, done tons of research for this trip. I planned to stay for about a week and meet my best friend Kenma Kozume by surprising him at his volleyball practice then, taking him to the comic market. To be honest I didn't want Dillion to come anyway. For some unknown reason, he hates Kenmas guts, maybe just because it's another guy. I have to admit we do talk a lot but I've never put Kenma before him. I try to be the best girlfriend and be present in our relationship but I've had enough. Dillion grabs my torso and pulls me in.

"Look I'll go to the lame ComicCon thing with you when it's in America where we live. I don't see why we have to spend so much to go to this we are only 16 we need to be saving up for our futures. I'm out Y/n." I sighed into his chest knowing this was coming.

"Of course you are... Usually, by now I would give in and agree with you but not this time. I'm going."

"Fine whatever. Then I'll be waiting for you when you get back." he pats my head. I was honestly surprised that he didn't fight back. I kiss him and run to put on an outfit. "What are you doing?"

"We still have five minutes, I'm getting ready!" I yell from my bathroom. I grabbed some sweats and a t-shirt and threw them on, groomed my h/l h/c hair, and walked back out.

"Hey, Kenma I have to go. Date night."

"Okay let me know when you get back I need to talk to you about something." his voice sounded tired which would make sense we had been playing for 3 hours non-stop. I turn off my computer and walk out with Dillion.

Ｋｅｎｍａ＇ｓ ＰＯＶ

~Y/U has disconnected from the server~

I stayed on the game a couple more hours decorating the outside of the cottages me and y/n had built. She saw it on TikTok and thought it was cute but didn't know that it would take this long. His voice lingered in my head "Do you even listen to me y/n!". Of course, she does idiot she loves you. When they started arguing I knew it was gonna end up a mess again. It's like this every couple of weeks. They fight and argue and she always ends up leaving our game. Seems like it's only when she's on with me... Doesn't matter what matters is that she doesn't deserve to be treated like a possession. She does whatever he wants without much fight. It breaks my heart when she comes back on the server. She always sounds tired and down but she still talks to me even if it's for a short time.

"Hey, Kenma wanna come practice with me?" Kuroo's voice brought me out of my thoughts I hadn't noticed I was smiling while thinking about her until my black-haired friend started teasing me about it. "Ooo you're smiling. What's going on?"

"Nothing just playing games."

"With your girlfriend I presume. HEY Y/N!!" he yelled into my mic which was right next to my ear.

"She's not on right now. Also, I told you she's not my girlfriend she has someone." I look down at my phone screen that read '1:30 pm' she should be home by now and getting ready for bed. "Sorry Kuroo I'll come out later I need to talk to Y/n," I say getting into my bed patiently waiting for her call.

"Fine dude but remember I'm actually here. You've never even met her yet you're obsessed," he smirks and walks out of my room. Almost as if on cue my phone rings I pick it up and hear Y/ns sleepy voice.

"Hey Kenma how is your morning?" Of course, she asks that first, she's so sweet.

"It's been good. I added some flowers around the cottage and made a farm for us. How was your date?" she took a few seconds to respond.

"It was fine. We went to a basketball game which I'm not completely into and it was really loud. I had to sit in the bathroom because I had a panic attack. Other than that it was fine."

"You know you can text me when that happens right? You shouldn't be alone during that kind of stuff." I fidget with my blanket as I wait for a response.

"Ya, I know. I didn't want to bother you though. Hey, what did you need to talk to me about earlier?" I get up off my bed to grab a notebook. I've been planing on asking her this for a couple of weeks I just needed a good way to ask so that way it didn't sound like I was trying to "hit on her"? I dont know.

"Oh um yeah okay so..." I read over my note and finally compose myself. "...I was wondering if you wanted to come to Japan to watch my team play in our tournaments and possibly go to nationals?" I mumble out. As I said that out loud I realized it sounded like I was asking her to move here. She's on summer break right now though so just maybe.

Ｙｏｕｒ ＰＯＶ

I muted myself and squealed. This is perfect. Other than when school starts this fall perfectly with me meeting him AND I'll get to stay in japan longer to watch him play. I unmute myself and quickly responded.

"Duh I would love too but you know we would have to a very detailed plan that out then get our parents on board and I would have to do something about school. Plus, I don't know how Dillion would react to me moving to another continent to watch another boy play a sport would go." I hear Kenma dramatically sigh.

"He's such an ass to you though. You guys fight all the time and you always give in to what he wants. I'm saying this because I'm your best friend. Break. Up. With. Him." I fall back on my pillows and look at the picture of me and Dillion on my nightstand.

"I know we fight a lot but he always makes up for it. I love him Kenma. I do admit that I come crying to you a lot about him and I'm sorry I shouldn't annoy you with that. He's a good guy I promise." there was a long silence and let out a yawn. "Well I should be going to bed now its like midnight here and I have to work in the morning. Bye Kenma have a good day."

"Goodnight y/n sleep well." the line cuts out, I plug in my phone and snuggle back into my sheets.

Oh just you wait Kenma I'll be in Japan sooner than you think.

[oikawaplssteponme]

The Apartment: part 6

▪️for parts 1-5, click here

pairing: Kuroo Tetsurou x fem! reader

rating/warnings: swearing, like 2 seconds of angst (?), implying ✨spicy✨ things (but nothing happens/happened)

synopsis: You knew that living with your three best friends, Kuroo, Oikawa, and Bokuto, would be a wild ride. It’s never a dull moment with those three. Let’s just hope you can keep your huge crush on Kuroo a secret when he is only a room away.

a/n: HI HI💕! omg i loved seeing everyone’s reactions to part 5 (i didn’t plan for it to be as angsty as it was oops) so i wanted to get part 6 out asap! thanks again for all the love in this, it means a lot :)) as always, my inbox is open for anything and everything so don’t be shy to come say hi or request something💛 and lmk if you’d like to be added to the taglist :)) okay enjoy xx

•

Six: little black dress

No surprise that you got zero sleep that night. Your brain wouldn’t shut off. The idea that Calie could be doing something with Kuroo made your stomach ache. She could be in his room right now, doing god only know what. It was awful.

The morning sunlight came peaking through the window of your bedroom. You laid in your bed, bundled up with the endless amounts of blankets you had. You knew you should probably get up. You had a class at 1pm. You checked your phone and saw that it was close to 12pm. You sighed and got up from your bed, heading straight to the bathroom.

You brushed your teeth and splashed some cold water on your face. Your eyes were still a little puffy from the tears you shed the night before. You left the bathroom and saw that Kuroo was already up.

“Good morning,” he smiled. Kuroo was already making breakfast. He wore nothing but a pair of shorts.

“Hi,” you muttered. You sat down at the counter.

“How’d you sleep?” He asked. Really?

“Like hell,” you said. Kuroo frowned.

“Oh I’m sorry. Here, I made you some coffee.” He handed you a warm mug.

“Thanks. How did you sleep?” You asked, unsure if you really wanted the answer. Kuroo placed a plate of food in front of you.

“Really well actually. I was super tired,” he explained. Hmm wonder why?

“Oh, that’s good at least,” you whispered. You weren’t hungry, you kinda picked at your food.

“Is Calie still here?” You blurted out. Kuroo gave you a confused look.

“No, of course not. She only stayed until her apartment cleared up,” he explained.

“So nothing happened between you two?” you asked, still unsatisfied with his first answer.

“What do you mean?” He questioned. You sighed.

“For being one of the smartest people I know, you can be really stupid sometimes,” you huffed. Kuroo rolled his eyes.

“Well if you’re asking what I think you’re asking, the answer is no,” he said. You groaned.

“Sure…”

“I’m serious.”

“Whatever. I’m gonna go,” you said, getting up from your seat. You walked over to your room and grabbed your jacket and shoes. Kuroo followed.

“I’m sorry, are you mad at me?”

“No no, Kuroo, why on earth would I be mad at you?” You said sarcastically.

“Okay well if you’re leaving then I’m coming with you.”

“No, I wanna be alone.”

“Do you wanna be alone or do you just not want to be with me?”

“Isn’t that the same fucking thing?” You grabbed your backpack.

“Y/N, what's going on? Talk to me,” Kuroo reached for your hand but you swatted him away.

“I don’t want to Kuroo,” you grabbed the front door knob, “if you want someone to talk to, go talk to Calie.” You slammed the door behind you and left.

~

You hated fighting with Kuroo. You rarely did, so it especially hurt when you two argued. You sat outside of your campus library on a bench. Kuroo left you a couple phone calls but you didn’t answer. You tried calling Oikawa but it went straight to voicemail. You then decided to call Bokuto.

“Y/N-CHAN HEY HEY HEY!”

“Hi Bo..”

“Woah there, why the sad tone?”

You sniffled into the phone.

“I kinda lashed out on Kuroo for last night…”

“Oh no...Oikawa told me what happened with that girl...I’m really sorry. What did you tell Kuroo?”

“I just got pissed off at him for bringing that bitch over and I just have that horrible gut feeling that he likes her and I know I shouldn’t have yelled at him but I’m just so upset. Like why do I have to like him if he’s just never gonna pick me?”

“Listen Y/N, Kuroo and that girl could just be friends. Kuroo could like you, but is just really bad at showing it. He’s an idiot.”

You sighed.

“Yeah I know. I just...god, why didn’t I just tell him when I had the chance?”

“You’ll get your chance, I just know it! Keep your head up. And when Oikawa and I get back, we can deal with Kuroo.”

You chucked.

“Thanks Bokuto. Well, sorry for bothering you,”

“You never bother me. Call me if you need anything, okay?”

“Okay I will, love you.”

“Love you too.”

You ended your call with Bokuto, feeling a bit better. You sniffled, wiping away the few tears still on your cheeks. You soon realized that you were still in your pajamas and people were staring. Great.

“H-hey…” a voice said. You turned around to see Kuroo, holding out a sweatshirt and a pair of sweatpants for you.

“You left with your pajamas on. And it’s too cold to be wearing shorts,” he smiled, handing you the clothes. Your cheeks went warm. You got up from the bench and grabbed Kuroo, pulling him into a hug. He let out a sigh of relief, holding you tightly. You could never stay mad at him, after all, you loved him.

“I’m sorry for getting mad at you,” you muffled out, as your face was pressed against his chest.

“It’s okay. I’m sorry for ditching you last night, it was stupid and I shouldn’t have,” he said. You looked up at him.

“Yeah it was stupid,” you joked, playfully hitting his arm.

“Can I make it up to you?” He asked.

“How so?”

“Well, for starters, ditch class?” he proposed. You gasped.

“Kuroo Tetsurou wants to ditch class? Who are you and where is my nerdy best friend?” Kuroo laughed.

“I know I know but you’re worth ditching class for,” he smiled. You felt butterflies in your stomach.

“Fine, you can make it up to me,” you said. Kuroo smiled.

“Can you answer this for me though?” You asked. He nodded.

“Um- is there actually nothing going on between you and Calie?”

Kuroo sighed.

Could you be any more obvious that you liked him?

“No Y/N, absolutely nothing. I think Calie’s girlfriend would be shocked if there was,” he said. Your jaw dropped.

“SHE HAS A GIRLFRIEND?!”

“Yeah, her name is AJ, she’s super nice.” You felt so embarrassed.

“Oh my fucking god…” you burried your face in your hands. Kuroo laughed.

“Yup, Calie and I are just friends,” he said, “anyway, kinda got my eyes on someone else.” Your eyes grew.

“Wait what?”

“What? I didn’t say anything.”

“Kuroo what did you just-“

“Come on Y/N, I have a plan for us today!” Kuroo grabbed your hand and led you back to the apartment.

~

You and Kuroo spent your afternoon watching old movies and munching on whatever snacks you had around the apartment. Back in high school, you and Kuroo would often have movie nights together. Whenever one of you wasn’t doing their best, the other would be at the door with a movie to help. You loved that tradition with Kuroo.

You sat on the couch next to Kuroo as the credits of ‘10 Things I Hate About You’ played. You probably watched a total of 4 movies, bringing the time of day close to 7pm.

“I think that’s enough for watching movies,” you said, stretching your back from sitting for so long.

“Good thing I’ve got another idea,” smirked Kuroo. You raised a brow.

“And what might that be?”

“We are going out!”

“Out?”

“Yes, out! So Y/N-Chan, go get yourself prettied up and get ready for a night on the town!” cheered Kuroo. You laughed.

“Kuroo it’s a Tuesday. I’m not sure how much fun we’ll be having.”

“Don’t doubt me. I know where to go for a night like this. Now go get ready!” Kuroo pulled you up from the couch and led you to your room.

“Oh and wear a dress,” he smirked. Kuroo left you to go get himself ready.

Is this this horrible way of asking me out? No, can’t be.

*BUZZ*

You reached for your phone, seeing it was a call from Oikawa.

“Hi shitty-”

“PUT KUROO ON THE PHONE NOW SO I CAN VERBALLY BEAT HIS ASS-”

“Oikawa calm down-”

“AND DONT EVEN GET MY STARTED ON THAT BITCH CALZONE OR WHATEVER HER NAME IS-”

“Toru please-”

“DONT WORRY Y/N, I MANIFESTED THAT SHE WILL BITE INTO A TORTILLA CHIP AND THAT IT STABS HER CHEEK! THE WORST TYPE OF PAIN!”

“Oikawa?” You groaned.

“Okay I’m finished. Yes?”

“She’s gay.”

“SHE’S GAY?”

“Yes she’s gay. She has a girlfriend. I overreacted, her and Kuroo are just friends,” you explained finally. Oikawa went silent on the other line.

“Well that’s awkward... I had a brilliant revenge plan.”

“You’ll have to save it then.”

“BUT HEY that’s good!!”

“Yeah, he’s actually gonna take me out right now.”

“LIKE ON A DATE?”

“Uh I’m honestly not sure...I don’t think so at least.”

“Well regardless, do your best to seduce him.”

“Toru please-”

“Okay okay I’ll stop. Keep me posted!”

“I will.”

“BYE Y/N!”

“Bye shittykawa.”

“You really have to be nicer to me-”

You hung up on Oikawa before he could finish. You saw a text from him.

you suck -sent 7:24pm

You laughed and set your phone down to get ready.

You scrambled through your closet for a dress. You didn’t want to wear the same one you wore to the party those weeks ago. You scanned through your clothes before finding a little black dress in the back of your closet. It still had the tags on it. Oikawa had bought it for you for your birthday last year, saying everyone needs a little black dress in their wardrobe. You never got around to wearing it.

You set the dress on your bed and went to take a quick bath. After you dried off, you began to put on some makeup and slipped the dress on. You looked at yourself in the mirror. The dress fit you beautifully. You felt beautiful. You slipped on some heels, no matter how unstable you walked in them.

“Ready to go…” Kuroo stood in your doorway, nicely dressed. His voice trailed off as he looked at you.

“Do I look okay,” you asked. Kuroo licked his lips subtly.

“Uh yeah you look more than okay…” he said, still staring. You felt the blood rush to your cheeks.

“Well, where are we going?” Kuroo smiled and reached out his hand.

“What’s a good time without a little dancing?”

•

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